Mister D's
HULAWEEN EXTRAVAGANZA
by Don Bradshaw
Page Design by BaltoBoy Steve and Darrell Redmond




New York City, Tuesday, October 27, 2003: Barry and I meet Snook and Julie (Lady Puffy) at their hotel, The Renaissance. We ate at Foley's overlooking Times Square. The view is breathtaking...ahhh!!!!




 



Wednesday, October 28, 2003: This is D-Day or Hulaween night. I couldn't sleep at all and wake up sick and hallucinating. Look outside my hotel, The Radisson, to find that they are making the sequel to the First Wive's Club, only starring men! Later we meet Jamie for lunch and drinks at Joe Franklin's-some legendary comedy club or something...I am completely oblivious. Just want tot get back to the hotel and put my gift basket together for Miss M.

The gift basket contains an original Bootleg Betty T-shirt and a We Got Bruce T-shirt...I just bet Bette is dying to put those on for one of her social functions. Maybe she'll wear one during the tour...OMG! Hmmm...what else is in that thing? Flavors of the Gulf Coast - by Timothy F. Creehan, Executive Chef and owner of Beach Walk Café - (Destin, Florida) is an extensive collection of over 200 award-winning recipes. Sautéed Red Snapper With Crab Meat, Louisiana Turtle Soup, Oriental Mango Duck With Tempura Onions and Italian Linguini Pomodoro represent a sampling of the diverse recipes included in this publication. Presented in a direct format and designed for simple, at-home preparation, Flavors of the Gulf Coast is a "must read" for those who love fine cuisine. He autographed a copy special for Bette and Martin. He was featured in People Magazine for catering the Amy Grant/Vince Gill wedding.

Also included in the bag were an autographed copy of Al Franken's new book, Lies and the Lying Liars Who Tell Them: A Fair and Balanced Look at the Right, especially signed to Bette herself. A big thank you to Snook and Julie for almost getting arrested for that one:-) And a big thanks to Mr. Franken for breaking the rules to get it done! A "watering can" carrying purse for Miss M to put her favorite gardening tips in or tools...whatever! A copy of Baffler magazine, her fave....a copy of my CD, Mister D Sings Miss M (Badly) and my singer/songwriter brother, Woody Bradshaw's CD, Living The Dream, both autographed with personal notes from each of us...what a lucky broad she is...! Other items of interest, a book of quotations about dogs, a special video montage movie of all things Bette made by Darrell Redmond from Bette on the Boards, an original Bootleg Betty Halloween Card designed by BaltoBoy Steve, Barry Shermer, and myself, a BLB business card, Halloween stickers, an additional check for NYRP on behalf of Bootleg Betty and the readers, and last but certainly not least, tons of e-mails from her fans from around the world! That was beautiful. I also put in a little sign she could put up on her dressing room door or wherever....it said, BE NICE OR LEAVE! (Kind of like the people who left the Bette club....they just couldn't handle being nice...so bye bye mean people....)

Here you can see our arrivals....Kris, Snook, Julie, and Bobby out front of the Marriott Marquis and then going up the escalators. Wow, look at Barry and I all decked out, too...like Siegfried and Roy without the maiming...well except for how my hair turned out! That extra purty one at the end is the Divine Jamie....And get a load of those Hula girls! Here in the lobby, we were served champaigne and all kinds of fishy stuff. This is also where security gave me a grilling for bringing a gift basket...as soon as I said "I'm Mister D....what's it to ya???"....well that's when I was wrestled to the ground, but thank God Bette's tour manager took pity upon me and my little basket and graciously took it to her....anthrax, my ass!!!!:-)

Now it's time to go in....looking at the invitation they had in our seats we see who the emcee and auctioneers will be...go ahead and take a look.! Look at us now sitting so elegantly at our table...this will be the last time you'll see us like this:-) If you look harder, you can check out the Divine Menu and Foods that we partook of...LOL Is that a word? I like it! Oh and look, there are some Fish People! I think I might have eaten one of them in the lobby! We also were able to watch the highly energetic David Sanders Dancers. They made me feel very old...

Okay....our food is being eaten, but the auction begins. You can see the list of what was auctioned off. I think they raised some 1.3 million dollars in all that night. Some of the people you are seeing are Caroline Rhea, Joy Behar, Jann Wenner (founder of Rolling Stone magazine), the Fab 5: Ted, Kyan, Carson, Jai, Thom (came late, got stuck in traffic) and some British dude auctioneer from Cristie's....Wow, there's Governor Ann Richards, Liz Smith. Bette and Richard Levine (honoree) and Ellen Levine (honoree)....then there's Bette just shmoozing with people left and right...some I didn't even know....oops there's Marc Shaiman and then Bette with the Devil and Angel...and then Miss M meets Mister D and Snook....that's Jamie next to Bette in the forefront...she's telling Bette who I am while I barely get a "hi" out from under my frozen smile. And doesn't Snook look cute???? We were very happy! But she was whisked away....to the stage to present the Wind Beneath My Wings Award to Richard and Ellen Levine...

First, click on that readable card and find out who the honorees are...learn about them!!! Bette's talking about NYRP and Richard and Ellen. Snook and I look on in rapture! Bette puts on a doctor's coat that Mr. Levine gave her...Doctor Divine, she is! Now she's singing Wind Beneath My Wings

Next Donna Summer is introduced by Bette. She comes out strong with: MacArthur's Park and Bad Girls There are a few shots of Ms. Summer and Ms. Midler in here, although they are from video transfers and rather blurry...but you can kind of get the picture..Here's Bette starting out Hot Stuff. She and Donna do a little dancing and strutting...even dueling mike stands...awesome....By this time I'm on the dance stage with the Fab 5 and Caroline...we're all singing and yelping and grabbing each others booties:-) Just kidding!

.Other pictures are of me either dancing with or posing with the guys from "Queer Eye For The Straight Guy" These guys were so nice and down home...I hope they don't let celebrity go to their heads. They carried no airs about them at all. Caroline was a dream...the same way...here's more pics....

Donna closes out with Last Dance and Bette joins her on the ovation. The crowd goes wild...

Thom, one of the Fab 5 tries to give me a make-over ... he thinks my jacket may have caused the hole in the ozone layer. Carson, the blonde one earlier up there, kept calling me "Nashville" which used to be my old name in the yahoo group....however, one can't help it when they actually do become "Divine":-) Oh there's Jamie and I with Chris Botti and Caroline Rhea....

And last, but not least....here I am with the coolest techno guy around, Moby....can you tell I'm watching out for Eminem's thugs!!!!

The Gift Basket: At the end of the benefit, Bette had a pumpkin bag full of goodies for all of her guests....we dumped ours out just for you....cool, huh? What's in here? The Good HouseKeeping Everyday Cookbook, The South Beach Diet, Bette Midler Sings The Rosemary Clooney Songbook CD, and one other Bette CD (each bag had a different one), A Pez Candy Dispenser, The Very Best of the Beach Boys CD, Estee Lauder LightSource Moisturizing Lotion, a Flexical Calculator that rolls up, a scented teacup candle, gummi bears, lollipops, breathe fresheners, Pearl Vodka, a pumpkin fan, a beach towel, and a pumpkin bag to put all of this crap in there;-)

I know this story was brief and fast, but I know how anxious Bette fans can be. I won't keep mentioning it, but I've been very ill, so I just wanted to get this up as fast as I could. If you have any questions, you can write me at:

webmaster@bootlegbetty.com

I dedicate this little ditty to Julie Pardini and Snook. Thanks for a great time...wish it were longer. Also thank you so much for the tix to see "The Boy From Oz". Mr. Jackman owns that part...