Judy Tenuta’s revision of Men Are From Mars, Women Are From Venus is Men Want Cars and Women Want a Penis, or whatever strikes her. Her “Love Goddess of the Universe” claims to understand gender differences and is moved to pinch her nose and impersonate LaToya Jackson lecturing Michael. Like Bette Midler calling everyone a “slut” or a “harlot,” Tenuta refers to “subvirgins,” a sign of post-Monica times. She tells women to act like Ferraris if they want to be loved: Make lots of noise and only start when a man’s sunk all his money in you. To put your Love Goddess in a good mood, just compliment her, e.g.: “Your butt looks so small, it seems to have disappeared.” One of eight kids, Tenuta claims she can’t wait to be a wife and mother, “tied to the stove making pancakes for some pipe fitter.” She riffs with one guy, “My boyfriend is just like you but with a different head and body.” Onstage, Tenuta doesn’t move much but captivates by sinking into fortuneteller-mode and whining in an Indian accent, “I am the Loooove God dess.” Throughout she inveigles the audience to rate her material as “sassy” or “nasty.” Not that nasty and a bit long in the tooth to be sassy, Tenuta raises some points, making us notice the way we size women up, and wonder where cloying femme behavior ends and pure performance begins. “All women want is to be bee-yoo-ti-ful!” she says, having her cake and pelting the audience with it, too. Improv Olympic West, 6366 Hol lywood Blvd., Hlywd.; every Tues., 8 p.m.; $5. (323) 962-7560.
From the L.A. Weekly Calendar