Okay, ya’ll know I’m usually upfront about just anything, so the following shouldn’t be a surprise. Barry’s the only one who gets embarrassed, but he knows that’s just me. I know some of you will find this whole post uncomfortable, but tough tits!!! It’s Me…Don….Mister D! Also, I wanted to counter any rumours that might circulate. It just happends in this day and age. And some have such negative agendas…and I can count them probably on one hand.
A few of you know that I have suffered off and on with Major Depression (a mis-diagnosis unfortunately) for years with this year being the absolute worse. I’ve been doing well for awhile, but I’m going thru another bad episode. The effects this time have been crippling and worse than ever.
I have a good team of doctors and one counselor that have been working for me since June and I’ve never had that much collaboration and input before. I trust what they have to say and they respectfully listen to me.
I hope the following doesn’t scare you off because that would break my heart, so I hope you’ll try to understand the illness I’m dealing with which derives from a chemical imbalance that I can’t control on my own. (If you don’t understand, then it’s your problem and not mine.) The disorder is Bi-Polar II (Hypomania), not to be confused with regular bi-polar (Manic Depressive). It just means that I have good periods with a mix of mania that lasts for awhile, but then extreme lows which gets progressively worse if not treated (Major Depression). So it is a series of ups and downs, however my ups aren’t manic…it’s the lows that are detrimental to me. The last week I’ve been hardly able to get out of bed or do anything productive, even though I wanted to do so many things, it was just impossible. And I just had no control over it. And I’ve never been treated for this before. So I’m very hopeful.
The next few weeks I’ll be trying a combination of medicines that may or may not work. Eventually we will find the right mix. I’ll always have this illness, but if managed right, I won’t have the severe lows (maybe mild ones…but that’s better) The mania part may be blunted a little. That’s the part I may miss, because that’s what drove my desire to create BLB and persevere so hard. But it will hopefully stop that annoying habit of shutting the site down and starting it right back up…and I won’t miss that part, and I’m sure many of you won’t miss it either. I’ll still be me in the end, just a better version…you’ll probably love me more than you do now…and I know that’s hard to top. 🙂
I’m just asking for your understanding, not pity, while I go through this. There may be periods of time where you might not hear from me due to sickness, depression, etc…and I just don’t want you to think I’m ignoring you. I’m just trying to find some balance. Lately this has been really hard on Barry, Me, and my family and they all support and see what I may have to go through to get better. I would just like ya’ll to hang in there with me as I adjust (this will be with me all my life) and research the stupid illness, so you’re not afraid of me. I’m still me…if you love me now…you’re just going to end up loving me more once I get a grip! 🙂
In the meantime, I won’t be able to do much or anything at all with BLB. The most I will be able to do is post some articles…maybe not even that. If people send me pics, it may be awhile before they see the light of day. It will be highly unlikely to respond to any emails except for my friends and family…and even that is a big “if.” I wish I could say otherwise, but I’m just letting you know up front.
I really appreciate all the BLB supporters and Betteheads. Ya’ll have been beyond wonderful to me and I hope to be back to my old, but better version, soon.
In the meantime, please check out all the other fab Bette sites (as if you don’t already!)
Much Love, Mister D
PS: Thanks to those whom I have already contacted…your words of encouragement meant a lot.
PSS: I’ll post when my recovery is complete (hopefully sooner than I’m expecting). Please, no enails that require replying to…it was hard enough to write this….
