Monday, December 15, 2003
Margaret Quamme
FOR THE COLUMBUS DISPATCH
(Thank you, Kathy)

Bette Midler soared onto the stage astride a carousel horse for a three-hour concert Saturday night at Nationwide Arena. Her entrance, both fanciful and funny, set the tone for an evening in equal parts raucous and romantic.

Midler was greeted enthusiastically by a mostly middle-age audience, some wearing jeans and others in fur coats.

Working against a backdrop of a Coney Island boardwalk circa 1943, and surrounded by Arabian towers glittering with hundreds of lights, Midler sang, danced, strutted, joked, hopped up and down while wearing a mermaid’s tail, and pedaled a light-bedecked swan around the stage.

She was backed by a jaunty new generation of singer/dancers, the Harlettes, including Columbus native Camilla Martin, and by a dozen-piece band featuring — appropriately for this "Kiss My Brass" tour — a strong brass section.

Midler performed material both wellaged and new.

In front of screens showing Midler at various ages performing the same number, she scampered through Boogie Woogie Bugle Boy. Reprising the role of fishtailed Delores Delago, she and the Harlettes spun in wheelchairs or lounged on the floor flapping their tails while performing fishily altered numbers from Oklahoma; Chorus Line; Hello, Dolly; Carousel; and other Broadway musicals including a sizzling number titled All That Chad.

Wearing a muumuu and strolling back and forth in front of a set of striped cabanas, she trotted out a series of naughty vintage Sophie Tucker jokes, sometimes repeating them in case the people in the expensive front-row seats didn’t understand them, and occasionally allowing the audience to roar out the punchlines.

She poked fun at her failed TV sitcom and at herself ("I, only I, am ageless," she vamped) as well as at the Short North arches ("Perhaps you should light them up at night, no?"), President Bush, Rush Limbaugh, Michael Jackson and Christina Aguilera: "I opened up the door to trashy singers with bad taste, but do any of those girls ever call me up to thank me?"

Showing a softer side, she performed a duet with a giant televised Mr. Rogers, whose "kindness, tenderness and good manners" she praised, and indulged the audience with a number of hits, including The Rose, From a Distance and Wind Beneath My Wings.

She also performed a number of songs from her new album of Rosemary Clooney standards, including a playful version of Come On-a My House and a surprisingly sophisticated one of Tenderly.

She ended the concert with another Clooney classic, White Christmas.

Though energetic dance numbers sometimes appeared to leave Midler winded, her voice was as strong as ever, and her warm personality pulled together the disparate elements of the concert into an engaging whole.

Sarah R,
BetteHead

I went to the concert with my parents, and at 15, I think that I was the youngest person in the arena. I am a long time Bettehead and this was the first time I had seen her live. And I am happy to say that I was not disappointed.

She entered the only way Bette should, with a bang. Coming on stage riding a white carousel horse brought the arena to its feet. And breaking out into a brand new song, "Kiss My Brass", which might I add, I can't wait to download. (Photo: Sarah R)

The Judge Judy bit was awesome, and it was a great way to supplement an outfit change. I was glad to hear the songs from her new album, and I think that they were a good change of pace from her other music. Although I was a bit disappointed that she sang almost all of her old stuff the second half.

From Delores de Lago's spoof on Oklahoma to the wonderfully trashy world of Sophie Tucker, Bette certainly made my first concert a memorable one. My mom kept pointing things out that she did that reminded her of when she saw Bette in the spring of '72. Finally, in response to the "I'm not retiring and you can't make me" comment that I heard at least 20 times last night, all I have to say is thank God. Sarah R

The 'Divine Ms. M.' is Queen of the World
Columbus Free Press
by Harvey Wasserman
December 15, 2003

COLUMBUS, OHIO---"I'm running for Queen of the World," says Bette Midler, who may already have won the title. "I'm sure I can do a better job than that schmuck in the White House."

(Photo: Laura Farr)

For those of you unfamiliar with the Yiddish language, the word "schmuck" has many translations, but "duly elected competent and honorable President of the United States" is not among them.

As for Ms. Midler, words---even in Yiddish---fail to describe her talent, range, wit and humor, though "Divine" is a good start. Her Saturday night "Kiss My Brass" show here at a packed Nationwide Arena (population: about
7,500) was a total knockout. Anyone in a city about to be graced by her amazing tour (check www.bettemidler.com) should get thee to the venue.

For years Bette Midler has taken unbounded guff from mainstream reviewers, and her outspoken political views may be part of the reason. She does not hide what she thinks of the right-wing jerks currently running this country (or much else for that matter). A brilliant riff culminating in the confirmation of Rush Limbaugh as an "oxy-moron" was the least of it. In retaliation, the faux geniuses that evaluate American popular culture have faulted her for everything from her TV shows, humor, singing and film career to the gay swish of her you-name-it wardrobe.

But if "Kiss My Brass" is any indication, there's virtually nothing this woman can't do short of balancing Bush's federal budget. With a signature over-the-top set, spare-no-expense orchestra and dance crew, and material to die for (including a great tribute to 1950s idol Rosemary Clooney), Midler put on an exhausting and gratifying carnival that covered the roster of possible entertainments from high camp to ballet to bathroom humor to social commentary to TV extravaganza to ballad to astonishing solo vocal virtuosity.

About the latter: there were four single songs Bette sang that were complete knockouts. The obligatory theme from "Beaches," the spiritual "From a Distance" and the lyrically perfect "Rose" she sang with immaculate clarity and charisma. Those were the three she predictably chose to end the show. They were all spot on.

But the one that killed me came late in the first set. "When a Man Loves a Woman" wasn't exactly what I expected to hear from this buxom lass. But I've never heard it sung better or more powerfully. For me, at least, it nailed, punctuated, grounded a wild, deliciously wacky show with a statement that said: "Hey, this woman can REALLY sing."

For those who've seen her shows, there's no need to describe what she does. For those who haven't, there's no way to except to say "see it!"

Just one mild suggestion: the pageant ends with a presentation of "The Rose" that overlays footage from the movie classic, which was mighty powerful but mighty depressing. The song itself is a lyric masterpiece which is ultimately optimistic, even liberating, especially when sung by the Queen herself.

The footage on the big screen could thus have been a bit more uplifting. Against all odds, Bette seems in better shape now than when that film was made so many years ago. Me, I found the movie clips distracting. The real Rose is healthier and stronger and more riveting than ever...certainly a worthier candidate for global leadership than the schmuck in the White House.

So with talent so clearly on loan from the Divine, what better way to end the show than with just that, alone and unadorned?

See the show, then make your own decision. There'll be no need to count the ballots.

The night before Ms. Midler's tour de force our local CAPA put on a nice show at the Palace. It featured pleasant pop performances from Sheena Easton, Peebo Bryson, Jon Secada and Chris Cross.

The show featured some sweet Christmas music and some solid performances of classic chestnuts. The mood in the hall was warm, friendly and thoroughly relaxing, like a holiday celebration should be with a family that actually likes each other. Lets hope CAPA does something like this again next year.

Harvey Wasserman is author of HARVEY WASSERMAN'S HISTORY OF THE UNITED STATES and co-author (with Bob Fitrakis) of GEORGE W. BUSH VS. THE SUPERPOWER OF PEACE (www.freepress.org).