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WOMAN’S
WORLD
Author: Unknown
Date: 10-13-92
WOMAN’S
WORLD OCTOBER 13, 1992
BETTE MIDLER
‘I’VE GOT TO SET A GOOD EXAMPLE FOR MY DAUGHTER’
She
was the Divine Miss M, outlandishly dressed and singing suggestive
songs in New York’s gay bathhouses. On The Tonight Show, she was
the bawdy singer- comedienne who could trade raunchy jokes with
the best of em’.
But that was 20 years ago. Now 47, Bette Midler is all grown up
and happily married to businessman Harry Kipper, and they have a
young daughter. Trading in her sequins and wild get-ups for more
respectable barb, Bette has created a new image for herself: that
of a dignified actress, devoted wife and responsible mother.
Are
you really different now that you’re married and a mother?
Yes. I have many responsibilities that I didn’t have 10 years ago,
so I can’t be as wild and free as I used to be! I’ve matured to
the point where I’m much more traditional. After all, I’ve got to
set a good example for my daughter.
Would
you still call yourself an eccentric?
Well, it’s true that all my life I’ve been on the outside looking
in. I’ve always been different-I’ve never followed the crowd.
Why
not?
My childhood is responsible for what I became. I grew up in Hawaii,
in a poor family. We were the only Jewish family in the middle of
a Samoan neighborhood. I was so different from all the other girls
my age that I didn’t have any friends and I was lonely. My only
escape was going to the movies. Even thought I was an ugly duckling,
I dreamed of becoming a movie star one day.
What
do you think now when you look back on your days at the gay bathhouse?
That was long before AIDS. People just went there to have fun. These
days it upsets me terribly to think about it. Sometimes I’m sorry
I had a part in it. And I guess I feel a little guilty. I kind of
had blinders on. I refused to think about a lot of things that went
on there. But in retrospect, I guess I was helping to make a big,
fun party.
Is
it true you’ve lost many friends to AIDS?
Yes. Not a day goes by that I don’t see the faces of those people
from the baths and realize so many of them are dead now.
As
your fame grew, did you ever become self-destructive?
For a while, when I was in my 20s, I began drinking before concerts.
One time in particular I was very drunk on stage. I also used some
drugs. Luckily I pulled myself out in time.
What
turned things around for you?
I decided I didn’t want to end up like John Belushi. I realized
I didn’t want to destroy myself.
How
would you describe yourself professionally?
I’m not easy to work with. My standards are high, I talk fast and
I expect things to be done yesterday. But I’m learning a lot about
patience.
How
would you describe yourself personally?
I dazzle them with my fancy footwork! Seriously though, my public
image is bold, witty, sarcastic, and bawdy. But in reality I’m the
little waif sitting in the corner.
You
sound……….insecure. Are most people in show business basically insecure?
I think show business attracts people who are troubled. They can
act out their needs, make themselves feel whole, be admired even
though they hate themselves and think in their hearts they’re frauds.
There’s always a big camouflage going on.
Would
you say you’re a good mother?
Yes, I adore Sophie and want to make sure we have a strong mother-daughter
relationship before I throw her out in the world and have it pinch,
scratch and bite her!
How
are you raising her?
I’m actually quite prudish, despite my public persona. In private
I’m quite refined, and that’s how I’m raising Sophie. When she’s
older I want her to attend Gordonstoun School – it’s the school
Prince Charles went to. It’s in eastern Scotland, where it’s very
cold, and they wake up and eat oatmeal and run around a track. It’s
very healthy – and very Spartan!
That’s
a far cry from Beverly Hills life. Isn’t it?
I’m trying to teach Sophie how to be a good, disciplined human being.
And I want her to contribute something to humanity.
Why
did you get married?
I began thinking of women like writer Dorothy Parker – always the
life of the party, but all alone at the end. I could see myself
heading that way and I didn’t want that to happen. I didn’t want
to end up on the last barstool, with a drink in my hand.
Now
that you’re married, how do you like it?
It’s been good for me. Harry and I have been married for eight years
now. I was drifting along for years – now I have roots. We have
our rough days, but it working out okay.
How
does he handle the fact your more successful than he is?
He’s very supportive of my career. He doesn’t suppress me or put
me down, as so many other men have in the past. He even does a lot
of the cooking and the cleaning, and takes a big burden off my shoulders
when I’m working.
What’s
the best thing about family life?
I’ve settled into this wonderful companionships and intimacy with
Harry, and it’s something I never had with anyone else. It’s a brutal
world out there, so it’s good to have a haven and people who love
me.
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