Quips And Quotes 10
Bette Midler: “Underneath all this drag I’m really a librarian, you know.” — (Midler, quoted in “Halliwell’s Filmgoer’s Companion”, 9th edition.)
Bette Midler: “I wouldn’t say I invented tack, but I definitely brought it to its present high popularity.” — (Midler, quoted in “Halliwell’s Filmgoers Companion”, 9th edition.)
Bette Midler: “Basically, what I was doing was a character that has always had a place in show business, and that’s the Broad. People always love a broad–someone with a sense of humor, someone with a fairly wicked tongue, someone who can belt out a song, someone who takes no guff. When I came up, there wasn’t anyone like that. The last one, I’d have to say, was Sophie Tucker.” — (Bette Midler in Entertainment Weekly, December 20, 1991.)
Bette Midler: “She (the ‘Divine Miss M’) never went anywhere. She’s just a character. That’s the only character that I ever made up by myself … I was in New York, I saw these people, I looked at these movies, I said, ‘This is what I want to be.’ And that’s what I became … But then I didn’t want to get stuck in it, like … John Belushi … I didn’t want the character to run my life. I wanted to be able to go somewhere quiet, be by myself and have a life … I never exactly put it in those words, but I really wanted to be who I always was. I mean, I didn’t think that anybody would buy what I had to say whan I was just myself, because really I’m kind of a bore. But that character, there was nothing boring about her. She was lively, she had red hair, she wore dresses cut down to there, everybody loves that. Who wouldn’t want to be that? But that wasn’t what I was … Not for a second. But I put it out and people were charmed by it.” — (Midler to Movieline, c. December 1991.)
Bette Midler About her role in the Gay Liberation Movement: “Parts of it I’m proud of. And parts of it I’m deeply mortified by. The idea that what came of it turned out to be so grim … one of the saddest parts of my life. The idea that so many people got sick and died. It’s one of the most awful things I have to live with.
Bette Midler: “I don’t think it was divine retribution. It was insane behavior. It was completely out-to-lunch behavior. There was so much drug use and promis…, promis…, how do you say that word?” (“Promiscuity.”) “That word. There was so much of that. I mean, you weren’t there. I was there. Nobody said, ‘Hey, wait a second. Hold on here. Hold it! Hold it! Hold it!’ It was terrible. I haven’t got anybody left. I haven’t got a single soul left from those days. All gone. I’ll tell you something. If I could take it back, I would. If I could change it … if I could go back and reverse everything, I would. It wasn’t worth it.” — (Midler to BuzzWeekly, April 4-10, 1997.)
Bette Midler: ” … I say girl because I love to annoy people. I love the word Girl. Gal is pretty great, too. I hate that whole ‘Don’t call us girls anymore’ thing. You know what? Call me anything. Call me sweetheart. no, actually, I hate that–it’s patronizing. But I don’t just want to be called a woman. It sounds like someone with a mustache.
Bette Midler: “I’m very ambivalent [about feminism]. On the one hand, I completely understand the impulse behind it, and on the other, I think there’s been a lot of damage done. I really resent political correctness and the idea that women who stay at home and raise their kids are worthless. I think that society as a whole hsas suffered and taken a terrible beating because of it. People can say that’s traditional and spit at me all they want. You reach a certain age and your judgment is clearer.” –(Midler to Rolling Stone, November 13, 1997.)
Bette Midler: “I went on Johnny Carson. He asked me what I was doing, and I said, I work in a bathhouse. I sing in a bathhouse. And I think people were stunned, and I think gay people were — they sat up and said, Oh, my God.”— (Midler talking about working in a gay bathhouse early in her career to Larry King CNN November 26, 2003)
Bette Midler: “We’re in a business that manufactures dreams … and we’re all in on it. This is a free country. You can’t sit and say, ‘So-and-so is a bad person for, you know, getting a chin implant.’ You can’t do that.”— (Midler on the pressure for woman to look perfect to CNN.com June 15, 2004)
Bette Midler: “I was never popular when I was a kid, so I began fantasizing  myself as bigger than life in order to get attention. And here I am.” (Las Cruces Sun, December 19, 1975)
Bette Midler: “Blonde is so great if you’re old. There’s nothing like blonde to keep your spirits up. Really. It just cheers you up to be a blonde. Red doesn’t last. People thought I was a real redhead. I was never a real anything.” (Associated Press, January 9, 1998)
Bette Midler On Her Appendectomy: “Migod, there I was, going under the knife on my 30th birthday. Is that some kind of a message? I turn 30 and suddenly my body starts to fall apart!” (Charleston Gazette, January 16, 2016)
Bette Midler On Her Ambitions: “One of my ambitions is to get my live performing down perfectly so I can be like those stars of the past.” (Charleston Gazette, January 16, 2016)
Bette Midler On Her Gay Following: “Naturally they follow me, because I started out with that audience. But it is not as noticeable as it was, and that’s good. I think it’s important to reach a wider audience.” Â (Charleston Gazette, January 16, 2016)
Bette Midler On Why She Took Off For A Year: “Everything happened so fast,” she said. “There was a lot of pushing and shoving, people grabbing at me, grabbing at the show. I had worked two years with only two weeks off, appearing in a lot of strange places – hotel lobbies, bus stops, shopping centers. “Two years after I started I was playing The Palace and there was a lot of heavy breathing. I had no temper left and I was snapping at people, the way I always do when I am tired. So I just took off. I went to Paris.”   (Charleston Gazette, January 16, 2016)
Bette Midler On If She’d Like To Do Movies: “Yes, some day. There have been offers but’nothing that seemed just right. Both Lily Tomlin and I were up for ”˜Won Ton Ton’ but we turned it down for the same reason: we didn’t think it should be directed by the man (Michael Winner) who directed Charles Bronson. I definitely want to do m o v i e s, p r e f e r a b l y slapstick. I’m good at that.”   (Charleston Gazette, January 16, 2016)
Bette Midler On The Divine Miss M: “I haven’t exactly buried the Divine Miss M, but I don’t pay much attention to her either.” (Evening Star, March 11, 1976)
Bette Midler On The Divine Miss M: “I’m just not so busy promoting myself anymore. What I was doing then was entrenching that character in the public. Now that character is there and she doesn’t need spoken about anymore.” (Evening Star, March 11, 1976)
Bette Midler On Her First Tour: “My first tour was soooo tiring but it was fascinating. Rochester, Toronto, Boston, L.A., and the SouthWest, … the people who came to see me were very far out, and when they all get together in one place they’re amazed that there are so many of them. My audience is fairly educated and they’ll try anything once. (Evening Star, March 11, 1976)
Bette Midler On What She’s Discovered On The Road: “You know what I’ve discovered? Even in the SouthWest and the MidWest- what they call the Provinces – people aren’t different anymore. There are only 10 people in the whole wide world and I’ve met them all.” (Evening Star, March 11, 1976)
An Un-Named Gay Paper On Bette Midler: “Our fag-hag has made it with the straights!” (Evening Star, March 11, 1976)
Bette Midler On Taking A Year Off: “That year was good for me. I got my voice back and my health back as well. I was able to get back the energy I need and, most imprtantly, my love for working. ” (Evening Star, March 11, 1976)
Bette Midler On Taking A Year Off: “Everything had just deserted me before that, just because I was so exhausted. I had no more reserves of strength to draw on and that’s the end of a performer. ” (Evening Star, March 11, 1976)
Bette Midler On The Bad Reviews For Her Second Album: “Sure I get hurt when people don’t like my work. All performers do. Now, Jon Landau cut me to the quick, but he got his, didn’t he? (He had a series of illnesses and a broken marriage) (Evening Star, March 11, 1976)
Bette Midler On The Eclectic Style Of Her Albums: “That’s the way I work. I’m a brain picker. I pick people’s brains to get the best out of them. Everyone has a different perspective and I like to take advantage of that. My interests are also very wide. I’d use the work ‘scattered’ but that has a negative connotation. It implies I don’t know what I’m doing but there’s a method to my madness. ” (Evening Star, March 11, 1976)
Bette Midler On The Method To Her Madness: “The same is true of my show. It’s put together by everybody. Everybody pitches in. I pick and choose what I like, what amuses me, and then discard the rest.” (Evening Star, March 11, 1976)
Bette Midler On Her Life: “Right now I’m only worried about getting through the day.” (Evening Star, March 11, 1976)
Bette Midler On Being Compared To Mae West: “I got a lot of inspiration from Mae West. When I first started working, a friend brought one of her records over. Through it all, Mae West was a source of pleasure. I love her, She was quite marvelous. She was also quite independent, which I liked. So the first time I worked on television I did one of her songs. I’ve also been compared to Barbra Streisand. That’s flattering, although I don’t see the comparison myself. (Springfield Union, September 1, 1976)
Bette Midler On Her Parents: “My mother was very showbiz. Not my father. His idea of showbiz is Lawrence Welk. He adores Lawrence Welk. My mother loved television. She used to send us to the movies and she was particular about the movies she’d send us to. No dramas. No horror movies. As a result, I never saw a horror movie until I was 22. My folks, you see, like hula dancing, but not the darker things in life. (Springfield Union, September 1, 1976)
Bette Midler On Promoting Bathhouse Betty In Clubs: “What is a legendary screen siren such as myself doing in an unsavory environment? (Aberdeen Daily News, March 23, 1999)
Bette Midler On Her Sitcom: “Sitcom? What sitcom? Actually, yes, I just made a big deal with Sony. I know it’s a risk. But you know, I like television. The thing is you have to be original because there’s so much to watch. how can the audience pick you out of all that stuff? (Aberdeen Daily News, March 23, 1999)
Bette Midler On Her Sitcom: “I’m at the age now where I like my family and I like to see my daughter more often. I don’t really need the stress of worrying where my next picture is coming from. ” (Aberdeen Daily News, March 23, 1999)
Bette Midler On Studios Declining a First Wive’s Club Sequel: “I didn’t get furious. I expected them to say that. But I just heard through the grapevine that the movie may still be on again.” (Aberdeen Daily News, March 23, 1999)
Bette Midler On Touring Before The Sitcom: “It can take 7 – 10 years for some of these projects. By the time you get it, you’re too old for the part. So I sing and I dance and I shake my tail feather. Thank God. Could you imagine if I couldn’t sing. If I couldn’t go out and be Bette? I’d have no life at all.” (Aberdeen Daily News, March 23, 1999)
Bette Midler On Current Events 1999: “Current events have made me remember Ray Bradbury’s “Farenheit 451.” There’s a part in the book where the girl recalls an earlier time, when children weren’t killing the other children.” (Daily Advocate, September 21, 1999)
Bette Midler On Why She Wanted To Tour In 1999-2000: “I wanted to be a participant in the millennium celebrations. I wasn’t sure exactly what they were. I wasn’t exactly sure what it meant. I hardly do any of the big benefit things. I didn’t do the George Harrison one. I haven’t done Sting’s thing although I’ve always wanted to. So it just seemed to be it was going to be a THING, and I wanted to be part of it.” (European Stars And Stripes, December 11, 1999)
Bette Midler On Why She Picked Las Vegas For Y2K: “I think all hells gonna break out, that’s what I think. I don’t think there’s going to be an explosion or anything. I just think it’s going to be a real zoo, a lot of fun. Do I think accidents are going to happen? No, I don’t.” (European Stars And Stripes, December 11, 1999)
Bette Midler On Her Ticket Prices: “I can’t even afford those tickets. That’s why I’m standing.” (European Stars And Stripes, December 11, 1999)
Bette Midler On Her Awful Recordings: “Everyone is so happy to hear that stuff again. They’re all so pleased to go to that terrible place.” (European Stars And Stripes, December 11, 1999)
Bette Midler On Serious Musical Mistakes She’s Made: “I have made some serious musical mistakes…whole albums worth of them, as does anyone who’s been around as long as I have. I think My Knight In Black Leather was a big mistake. Hurricane probably wasn’t the greatest song I ever recorded. Oh, Married Men, that was one I really despised; that was the label’s choice. These guys had hits all over Europe. ‘Oh alright…I should have stood up for myself'” (European Stars And Stripes, December 11, 1999)
Bette Midler On How Her Passiveness Plagued Her Film Career: “I was in some terrific pictures, but I wasn’t in the pictures I intended to make. And the pictures I did intend to make I was unable to stand up for myself. That was very painful…really, truly, horrible.” (European Stars And Stripes, December 11, 1999)
Bette Midler On Why She Went To Television From The Movies: “I think what you are saying is, why am I going into television and what happened to my movie career? I have to be brutally frank, and I’m sure that everyone’s going to say it, anyway: `Well, it was time for her to move on to the small screen because she couldn’t get those jobs.’ If you say that, that’s fine with me. I don’t care. I really don’t care.” (Chicago Sun-Times, July 25, 2000)
Bette Midler On Why She Left Movies: “(There’s) the sturm und drang, the angst of pulling these movies out of your kishkas I mean, (there’s) development for 15 years, and then you have to wait for the 25-year-old (studio exec) to give you the green light. I mean, forget it! Life is too short. I’ll tell you what: When they learn to make movies, I’ll be back.” (Chicago Sun-Times, July 25, 2000)
Bette Midler On Her Run In Movies: “I’ll tell you the truth, I’ve had a good run in pictures,” Midler said via a satellite hookup from Italy, where she was vacationing with her family. “Most of the women I came up with don’t really have the kind of jobs they once had. That thought has definitely crossed my mind.” (Chicago Sun-Times, July 25, 2000)
Bette Midler On Why She Really Turned To Television: “I’ve been a live stage performer. I’ve been on Broadway. I’ve made records. (Series TV) was really the only area that I had not done any work in. And I was tempted because I really, really, really- this really is the truth-I really wanted to stay home with my family.” (Chicago Sun-Times, July 25, 2000)
Bette Midler On Her TV Series: “I’m basically playing myself, so I’m hoping I won’t be too far off the mark. It takes a little bit of a stretch to play myself, but it’s the role I’m most comfortable with. It’s going to give me a chance to live a life, even for a little while, that I really wish my life were like, and for that reason, I think I’m going to have a whole lot of fun. And when I have fun, everybody has fun.” (Chicago Sun-Times, July 25, 2000)
Bette Midler On Being A TV Virgin: “I’m kind of a television virgin, so to speak. I’m not television savvy like you people are. Hey, how long can Regis go on? Maybe he’ll be struck by lightning. Who knows?” (Chicago Sun-Times, July 25, 2000)
Bette Midler On Turning To Television: “When they learn to make movies, I’ll be back.” (Register Star, August 11, 2000)
Bette Midler On Her TV Series: “I’m basically playing myself, so I’m hoping I won’t be too far off the mark. It takes a little bit of stretch to play myself, but it’s the role I’m most comfortable with.” (Register Star, August 11, 2000)
Bette Midler On What She Wants To Do On Her TV Series: “I’d like to go as far as I can making fun of celebrities, as far as the network will allow me to go. I think that could be pretty far. It’s not cable, but it could be pretty funny.” (Register Star, August 11, 2000)
Bette Midler On Keeping Her TV Series Viable: “I have no idea” if the show will return next fall, Midler said Monday while seated next to the kitchen counter on the set of “Bette.” “I really like the idea of having success in a medium that I’ve worked so hard to get my arms around. It’s a great challenge. I’d like to come back. I certainly wouldn’t go down without a fight.” (Knight Ridder/Tribune News Service, January 9, 2001)
Bette Midler In Her People’s Choice Awards TV Series Speech: “I haven’t stopped whining for a second. But I’m having a great time now.” (Knight Ridder/Tribune News Service, January 9, 2001)
Bette Midler On David Letterman Setting Her Up For Trouble With Network Brass: “You know, David Letterman, he’s a crafty little guy. He saw that I was vulnerable and he took me right by my nose and led me down the garden path. But it was good TV.” (Knight Ridder/Tribune News Service, January 9, 2001)
Bette Midler On Trying Too Much To Carry The Bette TV Series: “It was like doing a little Broadway show every week. I had no idea it was going to be that hard The first four or five episodes I was sick to my stomach. It was absolutely horrifying. We need more and funnier characters. And I think that’s what we’re going to go for.” (Knight Ridder/Tribune News Service, January 9, 2001)
Bette Midler On Lightening Her Load On The TV Series: ” We are going to be realistic about landing big-name guest stars because “there’s no (bleeping) way Mel Gibson is going to do this show. The workload has lightened up considerably. So the wonderful thing about life is that sometimes you eat the bear, sometimes you barely eat, and then you eat the bear again.” (Knight Ridder/Tribune News Service, January 9, 2001)
Bette Midler On Replacing Her TV Husband Roy: “Kevin Dunn quit because he was very unhappy with the material he was being given. Now I’m very timid about getting involved with an actor I’m not sure of. That’s on everyone’s lips. Darrin, Darrin, Dick, Dick. From Bewitched. I don’t get it at all. I personally feel that every week you should have a different Roy. Maybe you could have a contest _ the longest-running Roy.” She named Fred Willard, Martin Short and Chris Rock as possibly rotating Roys, an idea that received a thumbs up from most of the TV critics in attendance. By interview’s end, Midler seemed to be half-seriously considering the idea. Well, maybe not. (Knight Ridder/Tribune News Service, January 9, 2001)
Bette Midler On Her Desire For Her TV Series: ” My overarching desire is to really make people laugh the way they haven’t laughed in years. I don’t like mild TV The true test of a comedian is to make you laugh until you cry. To me that’s great art. No one did this better than the late Lucille Ball. I knew her. I adored her. I don’t have half the skills that she had. For my money, that’s the standard. The bar for great, intelligent comedy has always been Lucy.” (Knight Ridder/Tribune News Service, January 9, 2001)
Bette Midler On Kevin Dunn’s Departure From The Bette TV Series: “He didn’t like what he was given to do” and it didn’t make sense to “make him suffer through the contract. He was very unhappy with the material he was given (and) I couldn’t argue with him. I thought he was a terrific husband. I think he’s a wonderful actor. I was lucky to get him the few episodes I had him, but it just wasn’t his cup of tea. He wasn’t happy.” (Chicago Sun-Times. January 17, 2001)
Bette Midler On Being Surprised Public Cares Who Her TV Husband Is: “People really take this (fertilizer) seriously. You really have to think this stuff through because, apparently, people care, which I think is hilarious! Midler says she isn’t interested in replacing Dunn right away. She joked half-seriously about having a series of guest stars as her spouse-“Fred Willard, Martin Short . . . Chris Rock”-but CBS honchos say there’s no way that will happen. (Chicago Sun-Times. January 17, 2001)
Bette Midler On Getting A New TV Husband: “I’m very timid of getting involved with another actor who I’m not sure of, and I’m very timid about working with someone who’s maybe not so much of a comic but more of an actor, if you catch my drift. I want to make sure of what I’m doing this time. . . . The problem with this work is it’s all very collaborative.” (Chicago Sun-Times. January 17, 2001)
Bette Midler On Working In A Collaborative TV Atmosphere: “I’ve learned to wait until the other actor’s lips stop moving. That’s the most important thing I’ve learned. I’ve (worked) solo for 30 years and people don’t talk back to me. So I talk and talk and talk. And now all of a sudden I’m in a situation where I’m talking and then I notice that they’re talking and I actually have to listen and wait till they’re done.” (Chicago Sun-Times. January 17, 2001)
Bette Midler On The Need For More Characters On Her TV Show: “We need more and funnier characters. I think I want more comic actors around me. I want a bigger ensemble. I want some help in the house. I need a housekeeper. What kind of a star am I? I have no housekeeper. I have no driver. I have no hairdresser. I have no makeup person. I have no (backup singers). I don’t have anybody. I have three people sitting around the table.” (Chicago Sun-Times. January 17, 2001)
Bette Midler On Her Struggling TV Series: “I have no idea if our show will be renewed for next season. I’d like to come back. I won’t go down without a fight.” (The Virginian-Pilot, January 18, 2001)
Bette Midler On Comedy In Her TV Series: “Who likes mild comedy? Laughing is fabulous for the heart, soul and body. Everybody needs a couple of good yucks. So far we’ve managed to put that big laugh in there at least once in each episode.” (The Virginian-Pilot, January 18, 2001)
Bette Midler On CBS: `They take this very, very seriously. Don’t they know that it’s just pictures in the air? That it’s ethereal?” (The Virginian-Pilot, January 18, 2001)
Bette Midler On What She Learned From Her TV Experiences: “That I’m inept in the business.” (The Virginian-Pilot, January 18, 2001)
Bette Midler On Her TV Show: “The pace is absolutely brutal. I had no idea it would be so hard. I’m worn out. The show has taken over my life. I reached a point last year where I couldn’t go on. But don’t worry about me. I’m such a whiner. I’ll be fine.” (The Virginian-Pilot, January 18, 2001)
Bette Midler On Ideas To Pump Up Her TV Ratings: “Wouldn’t it be great if we brought Mother Teresa back from the dead, had the Pope sing a duet with Britney Spears, and broke up the marriage of Faith Hill and Tim McGraw on my show?” (The Virginian-Pilot, January 18, 2001)
