Scenes From A Mall – A New Review

LetterBoxd
Scenes From A Mall – A New Review
By Michael Eternity
Nov 1, 2024

Happily married couple Woody Allen and Bette Midler go to a mall to get a couple of things for their anniversary party later that night. They spend the entire day in a limbo of relationship chaos. It is a one-setting movie that, like a stage play, must keep contriving reasons to keep its characters from leaving (I enjoy such tight conceptual restrictions), the hustle and bustle and time capsule fascination of early ’90s mall culture (young men walked around performing perfectly rehearsed rap songs together at total volume, for example), two very different and arguably acquired-taste movie star personalities colliding,

Woody in a movie he didn’t write or direct, conversational and often screwball marriage examination, a light, whimsical touch instead of heavy angsty drama, and closing out at a mere 89 minutes – maybe these are red flags for some people. Still, I gratefully salute that entire checklist and have a terrific time with this notoriously panned Paul Mazursky endeavor.

Set at Christmastime for a little extra decorative flavor around the mall, with a lovely soundtrack full of standards embellished by Marc Shaiman’s score, highly neurotic three-dimensional therapy-speak naturalistic kvetching about the modern parameters of love and sex and couplehood, this could be mistaken for auteurist Woody Allen work. It’s a chamber piece spread out over one of the largest interior spaces. The movie has fun relocating them to different mall sections in each scene, including a movie theater screening of “Salaam Bombay!” during which Woody Allen goes down on Bette Midler. Has Brad Pitt ever given a woman voracious oral sex on film? Because Woody Allen has.

I don’t know if all the disapproving critics at the time found this movie to be too unrealistic (I mean, it’s trying to be part farce, go with it or don’t) or just not funny enough (no objective resolution there, I just happen to disagree), or a far-fetched depiction of dysfunctional marriage. Still, I found a lot to relate to in these schizophrenic mood swings of the long-term partnership, how sometimes utterly foolish and contentious yet pliable and accordant two people can be when they’ve been together forever. Incidentally, Woody Allen keeps pointing out that they’ve been a couple for 16 years (“17!” she corrects him), and that’s precisely how long my wife and I have stuck it out with each other at the time I saw this movie in late 2024, so maybe I just got lucky and saw this at the exact right moment in my life to best savor its observations and outlooks. I wish any future viewers similar synchronicity. It’s an underrated little rhapsody.

Stray notes:

Woody has to carry around a surfboard for most of the movie, an amusing sight gag and prop for a scenario like this
Was there a time when mimes were a regular fixture of malls or any public place on earth, and you were expected to tip them in exchange for a little imitative performance? If so, thank god I don’t remember it happening during my lifetime.
It might be too concentrated on a triple dose of flavors. Still, it seems right to recommend watching this movie in a marathon after “Destination Wedding” (Keanu and Winona doing the same thing at a vineyard) and “What Happens Later” (Duchovny and Meg Ryan doing a similar thing at an airport).