Video: Bette Midler – Hamlet – Bette TV Series – 2000

In the “Bette” TV series, there is an episode in which Bette Midler’s character weasels her way into a stage production of “Hamlet,” which features Tim Curry.

The episode revolves around Bette’s desire to be part of the classic play despite Tim Curry’s reluctance. Meanwhile,

Bette’s musical director and accompanist, Oscar, concocts an imaginary rivalry with Tim Curry.

Below, Bette Midler sings a little ditty she wrote about Hamlet.

From the film Red, Hot and Blue
Written by Frank Loesser, 1949

This is the story of Hamlet
William Shakespeare’s most notable play
A magnificent, dignified work of art
But for you, kids, I guess I oughta tell it this way:

Hamlet was the prince of a spot called Denmark
There never was such a frantic guy either before or since
He was a dream boy
And like a hole in the head Denmark needed this prince
He bumped off his uncle and mickey finned his mother
And he drove his girl to suicide and stabbed her big brother
‘Cause he didn’t want nobody else but himself should live
He was what you might call uncooperative

Hamlet had a lady friend named Ophelia
She was a cool put-together chick that made men thrill
But Hamlet, he thought, she was from uglyville

He chopped down her father just to teach the girl a lesson
Yes, he cut him up in slices like a pound of delicatessen
Murder was one thing Hamlet sure did enjoy, sure did enjoy
He was how should I say quite the mischievous boy

It was dog eat dog eat dog in Denmark
Yes, it was dog eat dog eat dog in Denmark
The morale of the story is very plane
You better get a muzzle if you’ve got a Great Dane
And the name of this omelet is Hamlet

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