BootLeg Betty

Miss Julia’s Take On Bette In Martin Short’s “Fame Becomes Me”

Mister D: The beauteous Miss Julia gives us a taste of Bette in Martin Short’s “Fame Becomes Me.” Many thanks for her fabulous synopsis….

Photo: Miss Julia from her cell phone!

From Miss Julia (unedited…my ass is tired, too!):

I have seen Marc Shaiman’s ass and I will never be the same!

Alright kids, I’m gonna keep this short because “If you worked for a living your ass would be draggin’ too!” Just before the show started Bette was seated on the isle of the left orchestra about 12 rows back. She was seated with Eric Kornfeld, as far as I could see her husband was not there. Martin Short was on stage forever, during which there is a fake award ceremony. He appears from the audience and runs on stage, only thing is that he decides to crawl over an isle of people to get there – my isle. Now I can say I’ve had Martin Short in my lap. After about an hour he “gets hurt” and they need a celebrity to replace him. They call Bette to the stage with a standing ovation. She takes a bow and does her best to include herself in the musical number they’ve thrown her into. She finishes by ducking under the arm pit of one of the dancers to put herself up in front. She leaves stage right and we see “Martin Short” in a hospital bed. It’s actually Marc Shaiman in a hospital gown, more on that later. Martin comes out as Glick and interviews Bette in the hospital waiting room. She talks about Hawaii and the movie Hawaii. He asks her if she’s met some jerks in the business and she responds saying she’s met a lot of assholes. Glick asks her “If Lincoln was alive what do you think he would say about his tunnel.” She responds by munching on a doughnut that was used in an earlier skit by a woman as a suggestive device. Her time on stage is way too brief and cut short by “Martin” flat lining, getting off his bed and walking “towards the light.” This is where we are graced with Marc’s pale white ass as he dances toward the light at the back of the stage. An actor comes on stage to try and cover him but he unties the half knot with the swipe of a hand. The show then goes on for what seems forever as they tease us with a 20 minute ending (Marc puts his clothes back on by the way). Someone behind me notices that Bette is back in her seat. The show ends, finally, and she’s still there! They do their final bows and she’s still there. Finally Marc announces that he is putting his friendship on the line and asking Bette if she would sing for us. The deal is we all have to donate money to AIDS research on the way out. She agrees and comes back on stage to sing The Rose. She asks us to be nice and directs Marc to lower the key. The security guards nod that it’s ok to take pictures and cell phones come out like wild fire. She notices and throws her glasses down on the stage to prevent glare. She sounded perfect, as usual, and ended the song sitting on the stage next to Martin Short. The crowd loved her and the mass off people waiting outside for her was huge. I waited an hour and still no Bette so I went home. Marc, however, came out quickly and signed autographs for several minutes before driving away.

That’s all she wrote! <3 Miss Julia

Ta Da!!!! The End

Love, Mister D

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