Who Is This “Hole?”

Cover of "Divine Miss M"
Cover of Divine Miss M

Mister D: I only reserve “hole” for the most obnoxious of people, and this C.J. has earned her reservation….awful, awful journalist…

Star Tribune
Safe Bette: The cold was too much for Midler
by C.J.

Next time Bette Midler gets a wintertime job opportunity in Minnesota, maybe she should decline.

The Honolulu native (is she a real American?) tested the motoring skills of her limo driver when he had to back down the alley to deposit the Divine Miss M at the stage door entrance of the Orpheum last week. This vehicular ruse was a first for me.

The maneuver seemed designed to minimize to the maximum Midler’s exposure to the frigid air. An anxious energy seemed to be keeping Midler company in the back of the limo. Then there was a funny moment when the limo driver didn’t recall that the front passenger door was locked, so he couldn’t open it. Midler, who had apparently girded her loins for the cold dash, hit the car locks herself and then bolted inside.

I got a clumsy shot of the top of her head as I yelled: Any advice for Ricky Gervais? About that time, a solitary fan ran up behind me holding something he wanted autographed. Based on the fact there was only one autograph-seeker and the audience didn’t exactly seem to be arriving in droves, I wrongly concluded not many people were present for Midler one-woman chatfest.

City Pages‘ Andrea Swensson told me the first floor actually was full, with a mostly middle-aged female crowd, while the balcony had a few empty seats. That was shocking. I saw more people getting out of the limos that accompanied Midler’s than I observed entering the Orpheum at any time.

While showing my mostly Midler-less video to Hayley Herst, exec producer of the Fox 9 morning shows, I expressed befuddlement over why Bette is still rolling with an entourage, a minimum of four, at this period of her career.

“She’s A DIVA!” said Herst.

Don’t divas like to save money for retirement, the rest home?

“No!” said Herst.

Word is Midler was polite and talkative to airport and hotel workers, including someone she asked, Where’s your coat?

He told her he was accustomed to Minnesota’s cold. Midler, who clearly was not, shook her head. Honestly, if you are the kind of celebrity baby who can’t suck it up for repeated strolls from buildings to the limos, maybe you should wait to work gigs during Minnesota summers.

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15 thoughts on “Who Is This “Hole?”

  1. At the end of the article is her email address, and I encourage all, like I did, to write this condescending “reporter” and tell her to respect celebrities such as Miss M who actually do GOOD with their celebrity status… NOT put them down.

  2. WHO is this ASSHOLE? & Why even bother with this rubbish of an article!! From what I listened to the audience LOVED Bette (as they ALWAYS do)….maybe before this idiot writes anything about one of Bette’s appearances…he/she should actually attend…looks like they had an opinion about Miss M before she even arrived….Just about everyone loves Bette and those who don’t: well, not everyone’s perfect!

  3. Mr. D., yes, I totally agree, C.J. is AWFUL!!! She is bitter because she didn’t get an audience with Bette. I think she tried for an “ambush” interview with Bette but Bette may have not heard her and didn’t answer/acknowledge her. I think CJ was that person in a link that Kim posted a few days ago. It was a portion of that morning news where they talked about Bette arriving for the SmartTalk series.

  4. i wouldn’t answer a retarded question about ricky gervis? who cares about him, if i was bette i wouldnt answer this bitch either!!! and why is she criticizing bette over her not wanting to be in the cold? no one wants to be in the cold!!! and seriously is she going to say that bette should be saving up for a rest home? she just made $120 million she can spend all the money she wants on an entorage, this woman seriously needs to find a different celebrity to trash!

  5. Wow that lady is ridiculous. I think we should all email her. She was wondering if Bette was a real American? That is just weird. It was a pretty much a full house. The show started 10 min late because there was a huge line at the ticket window. They announced it over the speaker that the show would be starting late because of it. That lady needs to check herself before she wrecks herself… LOL

  6. (Sent to C.J. via email.)

    Dear C.J.

    This letter is regards to your column concerning Bette Midler’s arrival at the Orpheum last week.

    Initially, please allow me to take a moment to inform your racist ass that Hawaiians are in fact REAL American citizens. I’m not sure why you would question that nowadays as our current Commander-in-Chief is also a native Hawaiian, but I suppose the civil rights movement still has a long way to go for those from the islands. (I’m sure that you can appreciate that there are still a great many people in the South who debate just how many third’s of an American citizen and/or human being you are, as a person of color.)

    The entire column made you come across as a person who simply did not like Bette Midler and was doing everything in their power to find something to complain about. TO NO AVAIL. You obviously wanted to walk away from your evening of staking out cold alleyways with a scoop on poor attendance turnout, but the evening was a complete success.

    Once word got around of how friendly she had behaved towards airport and hotel workers, your hopes of chronicling “what a bitch Bette Midler is” were dashed, so the best that your tired ass could come up with is that Bette Midler has an entourage and gets out of her limo at the door? Really? That’s your big story? Is it so cold in Minneapolis that your brain has frozen solid as well?

    Bette Midler is a legend.

    Wait. Scratch that.

    Bette Midler is one extremely rich legend who can command a room and be dropped off at the stage door in her big fat limo while some nobody with no name (which is, might I add, as androgynous as its accompanying photo, Butch) stands out in the cold hoping to take a picture of her while gargling out something retarded about Ricky Gervais.

    Honestly, if you are the kind of second-rate rag-writer crybaby who can’t show a little respect, maybe you should give up the notion of ever writing a real column.


    Divine Grace

  7. I wonder if she will respond to these e-mails. I am baffled about the the real american comment. Everything else was just a slanted column towards not liking Bette, but the real american, is that some sort of dig about her having money but tying it into the Hawaii comment just makes no sense. I have read many negative articles about Bette. I don’t agree with any of them but nevertheless their that person’s opinion, this article however, is just insulting because it makes no coherent sense.

    Complete waste of time!

    1. I think she was trying to make a reference to the President, who was born in Hawaii, and those that don’t believe he really was (they think he was born in Kenya and therefore not American)….they are called the birthers. CJ thought she was being ironic or funny, but the analogy was just totally off the mark….it just made her look, well, stupid….

  8. Divine Grace: love your e-mail to C.J.:) very well said:)

    Re being an American [citizen]: if a child is born with one parent or both as U.S. citizen[s], then automatically, that child is a U.S. citizen regardless of where [country, territory, etc.] the child is born. Bette was born in Hawaii before it became a state of the U.S. but since her parents are both U.S. citizens, then she is a U.S. citizen by birth. The same goes with President Obama – his father is Kenyan but his mother is an American, so whether he was born in Kenya or in Hawaii, he still is a U.S. citizen. So, both Bette and Obama have something in common, they are both from Hawaii and both, no doubt, American citizens:):):)


  9. Uhm Midler lives in NYC, they have just as blisteringly cold temperatures (maybe not AS drastic as Minnesota most of the time). She made it sound like it was RUDE to have her dropped off at the STAGE ENTRANCE. That’s where all us performers go.

  10. What got up that bitch’s butt?I guess you get a little crabby if you can’t afford a nice warm limo and your own friends (that woman would have to pay for some)!That was maybe the most hateful article about Bette that I’ve ever read.Thanks Mr. D for showing to everyone what an ass this person was.

  11. Here’s the response!

    From: CJ
    Subject: RE: About the Bette Midler column…
    To: “The Divine Grace”
    Date: Tuesday, January 25, 2011, 7:36 PM

    Divine Grace. You have got to be kidding.

    From: The Divine Grace [mailto:fabology@yahoo.com]
    Sent: Wednesday, January 26, 2011 1:43 PM
    To: CJ
    Subject: RE: About the Bette Midler column…

    Columnist. Now THAT’s funny. (Do you use that during “open-mic night” at The Chuckle Bucket?)

    Do people actually PAY you to sit around whining about the interviews you didn’t get?

    From: CJ
    Subject: RE: 1.26 About the Bette Midler column…
    To: “The Divine Grace”
    Date: Wednesday, January 26, 2011, 4:33 PM
    No I don’t use that at the chuckle factory and yet I’m funnier than you seem. Kind of sad you have to name yourself Divine. I believe someone else gave Bette her the handle.
    If you tell me what your Mom named you I might continue this, if you want to, by responding to your next e-mail. If you can’t say, no need to send another e-mail because if at the top as in  where the **** are there is not a name, I shall not read it, I shall not respond to it and I shall give you the last word. Hey, the way I throw around “shall” maybe I’ll start calling myself… Nah  Not going to do it. Excuse my typos!

    From: The Divine Grace [mailto:fabology@yahoo.com]
    Sent: Wednesday, January 27, 2011 4:22 PM
    To: CJ
    Subject: RE: About the Bette Midler column…

    Okay, you win.

    My name is Chad. (Somebody else gave me my handle too. You know, like an apparent truck-driver gave you yours when naming you after a cb radio code?)

    What is YOUR boy name? (Hit me back with a 10-4, good buddy.)

    And please rest assured that I care less about your responding than the rest of the world cares about reading one of your pitiful little complaints about Bette Midler’s celebrity parking strategy. Really, mister, that’s all you had? They PAY you for this???

    ‘Too much, honey.

    Use the “shalls” however you deem necessary, but nobody cares. Seriously. If you have this much time to back-and-forth with a drag queen over something you failed to write, then it’s all but certain that your “job” is as useless as the rest of us see it.

    With deepest sympathies,


  12. I considered e-mailing this “person” myself, but she’s made perfectly clear she doesn’t respond well to criticism. And besides, when someone is as clueless and ignorant as this, no amount of sense can be so much as banged into their skulls.

    Utterly ridiculous. How does this woman have a job with an actual publication?

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