To start the tree sale, Bette and Judy Gold (who emceed) sang this parody — by Eric Kornfeld!
BETTE
WE WANT YOUR MONEY,
GIVE US YOUR MONEY,
SO WE CAN PLANT SOME TREES LIKE JOHNNY APPLESEED
JUDY
INSTEAD OF GRAPPLING
JUST BUY A SAPLING
GIVE US YOUR DOUGH INSTEAD OF BUYING SHIT YOU NEED
BOTH
WE’RE GIVIN’ YOU THE SHAKE-DOWN
TIL YOU BREAK DOWN AND PAY
WE WON’T GIVE UP UNTIL THOSE
EMPTY LOTS THAT SUCK
ARE GREEN AS FUCK
WE WANT YOUR MONEY
SO LISTEN, HONEY
DON’T BE A TIGHTWAD, BUY A TREE FOR HULAWEEN!