Fifty Shades Of Gay (Thanks Andy!)

Oscar Predictions, Predilections And Preferences With Jeffery Self
Feb 23, 2013


It’s time for the Academy Awards–a.k.a. the Gay Super Bowl–when homos across the world tune in to see who won, who wore the best red-carpet looks and who took their mother to the Academy Awards (again).

To get us all into serious Oscars mode, we chatted with out actor-writer-comedian Jeffery Self–who’s appeared in 30 Rock and 90210; co-starred in Logo’s Jeffery and Cole Casserole; and just published his first novel, 50 Shades of Gay–to find out what he’s most excited for on Sunday night.

Lets talk about 50 Shades of Gay first. Is it erotica? humor? humorotica?

Humorotica–I like that! That’s the best description I’ve heard so far. I keep comparing it to Jacqueline Susann novels. Not just because I regularly watch Valley of The Dolls and Isn’t She Great on a monthly basis. 50-shadesBut also because I think this book does something similar, which is a subgenre beyond fiction, erotica, and humor”¦ I call it glamorous trash.

Isn’t she, though? Great, i mean.

Isn’t She Great is the Bette Midler movie about Jacqueline Susann.

I know! I sat through it!

I am one of the only people in America who LIKES IT!

I can’t wait for Bette on Broadway as another ballsy dame, Sue Mengers, in I’ll Eat You Last.

OH MY GOD. I cannot wait! It’s the angriest I’ve been not to live in New York since I moved out West.

You could always move back. Anyway, onto the Oscars: Who are you rooting for? And if you tell me Anne Hathaway I’m hanging up.

I think the greatest part of this year’s Oscars is it’s the first time in a long time that we’ve had two very fierce leading ladies who are just starting out their reigns as icons: Jennifer Lawrence and Jessica Chastain.

It’s time to take sides, though–and I choose Jennifer Lawrence. I get that Jessica Chastain is PROBABLY a more versatile actress and blah, blah, blah, Julliard. But Jennifer Lawrence will give SUCH a better speech and that’s what acting is all if you ask me.


I feel like Jessica Chastain takes acting WAY TOO SERIOUSLY. I don’t base that on anything but the fact that she seems boring.

What’s your pick for Best Picture?

I loved Argo a lot and it’s sort of my duty to root for any movie featuring a former Roseanne cast member like John Goodman.

I just watched it last night. Ben looks GOOD with a beard. (No dis to Jennifer Gardner.)

Ben looks great in Argo. The movie is funny and exciting, and it’s not another boring-ass moving we’ll all forget in ten years. I feel like movies that win Oscars should be the kind of movies you’re excited to stumble onto when watching TBS hungover.

ALSO, re: actress, Naomi Watts SHOULD win but she won’t because she’s Naomi Watts. She apparently pissed off a gypsy and got a hex a while back.

Do you try to see a lot of the nominated films?

I TRY to, but it’s hard to see everything. I’m learning to let go of this feeling that I HAVE to see them all. Because sometimes you’re not in the mood for “The Impossible” but you ARE in the mood to watch “Isn’t She Great” for the tenth time.

And now there are ten, so it takes sooo much longer.

I know. Even I don’t have time and I literally have NO life.

Did you like “Skyfall”? The song, I mean–not the movie. And will Adele wear 1970s sofa cushion again?

I liked it okay and I’d like to see Adele win an Oscar just because she seemed like she always has a lot of fun at award shows.

And I LOVED that Adele dress but I’m also a couch potato so it figures.

Maybe this time she’ll yet at Chris Brown.

Or better yet, flick off Tom Hanks!

Perhaps. So”¦ Anne Hathaway.

Where to begin?

Do we want her to win so we can see how insufferably sweet she pretends to be? Or do we want her to lose and watch her tiny porcelain heart crack into shards?

I don’t think she’s untalented. From what I hear she’s good in that movie–I haven’t seen it because it looks really long and I have a hard time with period stuff. However, I cannot fathom how obnoxious she’s going to be.

I’m both dreading it and already sitting in front of my TV in anticipation.

I think her personality–especially when she’s interviewed and does talk shows–rubs people the wrong way. We don’t like naked ambition masked by false modesty.

Definitely. It’s that phony, wide-eyed sweet schtick but with blood and rage hidden behind it. More than anything, I find her terrifying, I guess.

I interviewed her once–she kind of is.

Did she sip blood out of a venti Starbucks cup?

I think they were out of venti cups that day. Was there a movie that you loved last year that got no love from the Oscars?

I wish they’d nominated Connie Britton. Not for a movie but for iconic value.

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