Liz Smith’s Inside Scoop On Bette’s Birthday Bash!

Mister D: What she didn’t tell you is that Darrell and I were hiding inside a fake roasted pig with an apple in it’s mouth which was a secret camera, but alas, we were facing the wrong way, so all we got were pictures of half heads and buttocks’…..shhhhhhh….it was still divine!!!!!!! And, oh the stories we could tell, but we shan’t, we shan’t!!!!

New York Post
December 7th, 2005
Liz Smith

I NEVER thought I’d be at a birthday party where the chieftain of Rolling Stone, Jann Wenner, made a toast wearing a yarmulke, noting that someone famous had turned him from straight to gay. This was at Bette Midler’s fabulous 60th birthday party down in TriBeCa, at what was once a synagogue. Wenner brought down the house. But all the speeches were sensational: Barbara Walters, joking that she’d been gay and has become straight; playwright John Guare, who recited all the historical instances of happenings on the date Dec. 1; and Ahmet Ertegun hilariously recited how he “discovered” Bette.

A lot of other funny and sentimental things happened at this party. Bette sat between her daughter, Sophie, and her husband, Martin von Haselberg, with tears running down her cheeks as two beautiful hula dancers did their authentic stuff. (Bette was born in Hawaii and does a graceful hula herself!) We also had a great dance band, Tony Corbiscello. Lots of wannabes from Bette’s past and present stood up and talked more about themselves than they did about Bette, saying what she means to them.

Great talents suddenly appeared to entertain: Martin himself doing his balloon number . . . Tony winner Christine Ebersole singing “I Happen to Like New York” . . . Katie Couric and Rosie O’Donnell in an astounding duet . . . Lypsinka pretending to be drunk . . . Nathan Lane doing a special version of the song lyric “Isn’t It Rich?” with the words “Isn’t She Great?” And four of the remaining Harlettes performing the original “Boogie Woogie Bugle Boy.”

You can add Joy Behar, Grace Hightower De Niro, Candice Bergen, Marshall Rose, Mica Ertegun, Carolina Herrera, Ellen and Richard Levine, Iman and David Bowie, Kenny Jay Lane, Arnold Scaasi, Parker Ladd, Adele Chatfield-Taylor and Bruce Vilanch to this varied guest list. The genius Robert Isabel had turned the once synagogue into a variation of the Beverly Hills Hotel. The birthday cake resembled a giant sliced baked ham. “A ham in a synagogue?” queried art dealer Earl McGrath, in from Hollywood. It was a wonderful night.

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