Oy vey. If love songs were sung to Jewish mothersâ€¦
by Joe Hildebrand
August, 10 2011
Paul McCartney: Maybe Iâ€™m amazed at the way you love me all the time. Maybe Iâ€™m amazed at the way I love you.
Jewish Mother: What, so maybe youâ€™re not amazed?
Van Morrison: Have I told you lately that I love you?
Jewish Mother: No. And you havenâ€™t mowed the lawns either.
Bette Midler: I could fly higher than an eagle, for you are the wind beneath my wings.
Jewish Mother: Donâ€™t think Iâ€™m letting you go up there.
George Michael: Though itâ€™s easy to pretend, I know youâ€™re not a fool.
Jewish Mother: So itâ€™s easy to pretend Iâ€™m a fool huh? Thatâ€™s what you think of me?
Elvis Presley: I canâ€™t help falling in love with you.
Jewish Mother: Then youâ€™d better learn some self-control young man.
John Travolta: Iâ€™ve got chills, theyâ€™re multiplying.
Jewish Mother: I told you to wear a sweater.
Bryan Adams: Everything I do, I do it for you.
Jewish Mother: Does that include the dishes?
Celine Dion: Youâ€™re here, thereâ€™s nothing I fear, and I know that my heart will go on.
Jewish Mother: Thatâ€™s what your Uncle Hymie said just before his pacemaker went.
Elton John: And I canâ€™t explain, but itâ€™s something about the way you look tonight.
Jewish Mother: What? Have I got something in my teeth?
Lionel Richie: And love, oh love, Iâ€™ll be a fool for you.
Jewish Mother: And not just for me, I can tell you.
The Bangles: Is this burning an eternal flame?
Jewish Mother: No, you left the heater on again.
Joe Cocker: You are so beautiful to me.
Jewish Mother: What? So to everybody else Iâ€™m ugly?
Seal: Iâ€™ve been kissed by a rose on the gray.
Jewish Mother: Looks more like a rash to me.
Meatloaf: I would do anything for love, but I wonâ€™t do that.
Jewish Mother: Are you talking about the dishes again?