Bette Midler graced the stage of the Palace of Auburn Hills on Wednesday, presenting her newest show, “Divine Intervention,” to a crowd of thousands of ardent fans. She brought a message of hope to the multitudes, saying “Never give up on Detroit!” The irrepressible diva flaunted a wardrobe of many colors, a painting of Michelangelo’s “The Creation of Adam” from The Sistine Chapel photo shopped with her lovely arm and face replacing those of God, a den of Harlettes, majestic trumpeters, and the gospel according to Bette: “I came here to lift your spirits, like a boob job for your soul.”
Her sermon on the mount lacked the fishes we’ve come to love and hold dear to our hearts: Delores Delago, Midler’s mermaid alter ego who hitches joyrides in electric wheelchairs, has officially crossed the rainbow bridge from this world to rest in the bosom of Neptune, according to the Oscars-style memorial montage. The p***d off piscine must have died of shock after seeing Lady Gaga’s [copycat?] version of a likewise pelagic nymph.
Midler resurrected the dead in a sequence of leaked photos from her fabled sex life: evidence of inappropriate relations with married men flashed on a screen before us, including a scandalous sexcapade with President Tricky Dick. She confessed responsibility for Dick Cheney‘s heart attacks number three and six. Her favorite rendez-vous was with Bruce Jenner: she recalled they watched “Beaches,” cried through the night, and painted each other’s toe nails pink.
The evening continued with devilish surprises, as Midler took the stage as the evil witch Winifred, from her 1993 film, “Hocus Pocus.” Wearing a bright red wig and overbite dental veneers, she sang her siren song, “I Put A Spell On You.”
The backgrounds, costumes, sets and lighting for her performance were phenomenal. Each song had its own mood and created ambiance. Her reprisal of the sinner Sophie was hilarious – a transmogrified hen emerged from a nest, gossiping about carnal knowledge and other impurities.
Of course, the Divine Miss M did not fail to deliver what we came to hear most urgently: “The Rose,” “Wind Beneath My Wings,” and “Boogie Woogie Bugle Boy.” The non-stop performance lasted two hours, plus, and certainly was Detroit’s magnificent kickoff for its summer concert season. At age 69, the diva continues to impress. For her disciples who will always revere her as if she walks on water, the long-awaited appearance was a divine gift.
Midler’s tour continues across the US; her schedule appears online at http://bettemidler.com/ .