Quotes of the year 2015
Friday 01 January 2016
From the funny to the downright daft, hereâ€™s a look at some of 2015â€™s best quotes
â€œIâ€™m one of the middle-aged (OK, a bit older) females who are not embarrassed to say I believe in God – which is just about the most embarrassing thing you can own up to these days, even more than admitting you fancy someone under 30.â€ Broadcaster Janet Street-Porter, 68.
â€œWhen I look in the cupboard under the sink and see three unused bottles of hand wash, I realise that I am turning into my parents.â€ Comedian Sarah Millican, 40.
â€œItâ€™s very hard to be married to a Beatle. Never, never, never… Iâ€™m single, I want to have fun but I donâ€™t want to be married. Itâ€™s one thing Iâ€™m absolutely sure about.â€ Heather Mills, 47, former wife of Sir Paul McCartney.
â€œMy pet hate is womenâ€™s shoes where you can see the toes, and the toes stray beyond the end of the shoe. I canâ€™t bear to look. I find it awful. It is like I want to file them off.â€ Broadcaster Adrian Chiles, 48.
â€œIâ€™m smashed. So smashed I think the waiters are hot.â€ Comedian and writer Jennifer Saunders, 57, after an intake of champagne.
â€œLife as an MP (or any kind of celebrity, I have discovered since) requires a strange mixture of egotism and altruism. It is a special kind of vanity.â€ Former MP Edwina Currie, 69.
â€œWhen they installed bungee ropes in the church tower, the bell ringers hit the roof.â€ Comedian Ken Dodd, 88.
â€œI thought I had driven to hell this morning. But no, it was just the school run.â€ Former Strictly Come Dancing judge Arlene Phillips, 72.
â€œLike a warm bath on a cold day, suds â€˜nâ€™ all.â€ Actor Chris Oâ€™ Dowd, 36, when asked what love feels like.
â€œMy friends used to call him Grumpelstiltskin. He is grumpy.â€ Actress Liz Hurley, 50, on her former boyfriend Hugh Grant.
â€œYou canâ€™t do tracksuits, ladies. They are the number one cause of divorce in America. Tracksuits? No!â€ Actress Eva Mendes, 41.
â€œIâ€™m a man, I canâ€™t do two things at once. Donâ€™t be ridiculous!â€ Prime Minister David Cameron, 49, after being asked why he couldnâ€™t listen to music while out running in an interview with Heat magazine.
â€œWe all come in different shapes, sizes and colours – even tomatoes. Thatâ€™s what makes life so exciting.â€ Celebrity chef Jamie Oliver, 40.
â€œWhy are we still together after 15 years? Because I havenâ€™t killed her yet.â€ TV presenter Phil Spencer, 46, joking about his co-presenter Kirstie Allsopp.
â€œI remember when we were doing a film, Clint Eastwoodâ€™s horse was acting up. This is when I knew he is a true Republican. He got off the horse, looked at the horse and socked him.â€ Actress Shirley MacLaine, 81.
â€œMy grandfather once chased his Liberal candidate down the street, waving a stick. You canâ€™t do that these days but at least it brought some life to campaigning.â€ Former MP Ann Widdecombe, 68.
â€œI have about 10lb that seems to come and go, and that has been the way for as long as I can remember. Maybe I should do something about them – finally say goodbye to them. Giving up those two spoonfuls in my coffee might help.â€ Actress Dame Helen Mirren, 70.
â€œIt is its own entity: I think of it as something entirely separate to me. Probably the reason for it is the fact Iâ€™ve spent most of my adult life dancing around in very high heels.â€ Singer Kylie Minogue, 47, on her famous bottom.
â€œI canâ€™t wait for them to get here. It is time we had a more interesting species to talk to. I very much hope they will be music lovers.â€ Soprano Lesley Garrett, 60, on looking forward to visitors from outer space.
â€œI am definitely fond of my boyfriend, Richard Curtis. It has been 25 years though I still wonâ€™t marry him in case someone better comes along.â€ Broadcaster Emma Freud, 53.
â€œIn my day, 58 beers between London and Sydney would have classified you as a teetotaller.â€ Former Australian cricket captain Ian Chappell, 72, as the Aussies Ashes squad arrived in Britain.
â€œI am slowly falling apart and feel like a walking spare parts depot. I have a fake knee. I have a fake hip. Iâ€™ve got a lot of metal in my back – itâ€™s a field day at the airport.â€ Actress Jane Fonda, 77.
â€œIt goes so fast that you can still remember why you went upstairs.â€ Actress June Whitfield, 90, on the latest stairlift model.
â€œNow they want to give me a decade of hotness. Iâ€™m like, â€˜Bring it onâ€™. You really like to be hot after youâ€™re 40.â€ Actress Salma Hayek, 49, on the attitude of her film bosses.
â€œMy parents used to tell me off for licking my plate, but if the food is good itâ€™s a great compliment. Smelling is the overture, eating is the main act, licking is the curtain call.â€ Actor Richard E. Grant, 58.
â€œI am here to lift your spirits, like a boob job for your soul.â€ Singer and actress Bette Midler, 70.
â€œThe studded leather mini-dress looked good from a distance of, say, 200 miles. Up close it would frighten a gargoyle.â€ Author Kathy Lette, 57, on looking for clothes in a charity shop
â€œSometimes I think Iâ€™m Madonna, but I get confused with the check-out girl at Tesco.â€ Downton Abbey star Joanne Froggatt, 35.
â€œMy hair has stopped growing. In fact it is growing shorter.â€ TV personality Jonathan Ross, 55.
â€œIâ€™m a pretty shambolic person. I donâ€™t have the qualifications to say to people, â€˜You canâ€™t eat that, you canâ€™t eat thisâ€™. Iâ€™m not in a position to preach anything to anyone else.â€ Celebrity chef Nigella Lawson, 55.
â€œIâ€™ve got more chandeliers in my toilet.â€ Singer Elton John, 68, complaining about the dim lights as he made a speech in the US ambassadorâ€™s London residence.
â€œThey donâ€™t want to hire all of me – only about three-quarters! Nothing changes, itâ€™s an appearance-driven thing. Iâ€™m in a business where the only thing that matters is weight and appearance. That is so messed up.â€ Star Wars actress Carrie Fisher, 59