The Washington Post
January 1, 1994
DO THINGS seem a little chaotic?
Twelve months ago we were wondering which of the stars would sleep in the White House, a prospect made dizzy by the inaugural appearance of both Barbra Streisand and Michael Jackson. Now we don’t want to know. Meanwhile, the embattled Hafts – Herbie and Gloria and the kids – may be Hollywood-bound in a drama that could prove there was more excitement behind that pompadour than we had thought. With Aspin out and Inman in, the administration enters the new year with a fresh load of testosterone. So where does that leave Hillary?
The lost-and-found manhood of John Wayne Bobbitt gave Camille Paglia something new to talk about, but frankly we’re more intrigued by Fabio. Does he shave or does he wax? Come to think of it, maybe we’re just a wee bit more dubious about everything that looks and sounds too good to be true – the politics of meaning, gun control, the new world order.
So leave wishful thinking at the door. It’s ’94!
IN…………………………OUT
POLITICS AS USUAL …………. POLITICS OF MEANING
JIMI HENDRIX ……………… JIM MORRISON
WESTERNS …………………. YUPPIE PARANOID THRILLERS
COMMUNITARIANISM ………….. LIBERALISM
NEO-FASCISM ………………. COMMUNISM
INSECTS ………………….. DINOSAURS
COUNTRY MUSIC VIDEOS ………. LINE DANCING
SPEED RACER ………………. BEAVIS AND BUTT-HEAD
PUMAS ……………………. PLATFORMS
ROBERT REICH ……………… BARNEY
MISTER ROGERS’ NEIGHBORHOOD … NEVERLAND
BIODIVERSITY ……………… DIVERSITY WORKSHOPS
GLORIA AND HERBIE …………. JOEY AND AMY
NORTHERN IRELAND ………….. SOMALIA
J. EDGAR HOOVER …………… JAYE DAVIDSON
FABIO ……………………. ARNOLD
CASABLANCA LILIES …………. SUNFLOWERS
GM SUBURBANS ……………… JEEP CHEROKEES
LESBIAN EMPOWERMENT ……….. MUD WRESTLING
LOBBYISTS ………………… WHITE HOUSE
AL GORE ………………….. ROSS PEROT
BATS …………………….. DRACULA
ANKLETS ………………….. LEGGINGS
DONALD AND MARLA ………….. JAMES AND MARY
BUDDHA …………………… RICHARD GERE
NORMANDY …………………. PROVENCE
PIERCED TONGUES …………… PIERCED NOSES
BOY GEORGE ……………….. GEORGE STEPHANOPOULOS
BILL RUMORS ………………. HILLARY RUMORS
LAURENCE FISHBURNE ………… ALEC BALDWIN
TRANCE …………………… GRUNGE
BRIAN ENO ………………… U2
GAY COMEDY ……………….. GAY DRAMA
“TALK SOUP” ………………. TALK SHOWS
COURT TV …………………. QVC
TOMMY LEE JONES …………… HARRISON FORD
HEIDI FLEISS ……………… JANET RENO
DOPE …………………….. SMART DRUGS
STONE TEMPLE PILOTS ……….. STONED AIRLINE PILOTS
SYLVIA PLATH ……………… VIRGINIA WOOLF
JANET MALCOLM …………….. CATHERINE MACKINNON
“BAYWATCH” ……………….. “NORTHERN EXPOSURE”
GEORGE ON “SEINFELD” ………. KRAMER ON “SEINFELD”
LUAUS ……………………. BRUNCH
PUDDING ………………….. POTATOES
JANE CAMPION ……………… MERCHANT/IVORY
SARIS FOR MEN …………….. KILTS FOR MEN
BETTE MIDLER ……………… BARBRA STREISAND
BOB PACKWOOD ……………… CLARENCE THOMAS
BJORK ……………………. PORK
PENISES ………………….. MACHO
HARVEY KEITEL …………….. AL PACINO
CORNEL WEST ………………. SHELBY STEELE
SNOOP DOGGY DOGG ………….. ICE-T
CAMPUS SEX CODES ………….. CAMPUS SPEECH CODES
VIBE …………………….. SPIN
CYBERPORN ………………… AMATEUR SEX VIDEOS
REPRESSED MEMORIES ………… NOSTALGIA
