If You Don’t Know These ‘Hocus Pocus’ Quotes By Now, Well, You’re A Gosh Dang Fxxxxxt

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30 ‘Hocus Pocus’ Quotes That Will Have You Cackling Like the Sanderson Sisters
By Rachelle Dragani | September 10, 2023

What better way to ring in the spooky season than with a bunch of Hocus Pocus? The 1993 film wasn’t exactly a box office success when it first hit theaters. But in the decades since audiences haven’t been able to resist pressing “play” on this Halloween cult classic. 

That’s thanks mostly to icons Bette Midler, Sarah Jessica Parker, and Kathy Najimy, who turn out memorable performances as the three wicked Sanderson sisters — or, as Midler’s character Winifred puts it, “Sistahs!” They’ve been dead since 1693 after being hanged for the small crime of trying to suck the souls out of local kids in an effort to obtain immortality. When they’re accidentally brought back to life 300 years later by teenager Max, who doesn’t believe in all the “hocus pocus” in his new home of Salem, the sisters are right back to their old tricks. 

With the help of everyone from his wisecracking little sister to a zombie hellbent on the Sanderson sisters’ destruction — and a distinct lack of help from the town’s adults, who are busy partying in fantastic costumes at a local rager — Max has to get to work saving his new town from an All Hallows’ Eve nightmare. 

The spellbinding movie has held up for decades because it has everything you need in an October movie marathon: a 300-year-old talking cat, incredible ’90s looks, a sweet budding romance, teenage bullies wreaking havoc on trick-or-treaters, and all the bubbling cauldrons, spells and witches’ brew you could imagine.

And, of course, there’s those witchy one-liners that we’re still quoting decades later. We’ve gathered our favorite Hocus Pocus quotes here — they’re sure to keep you cackling through Halloween night and beyond: 

The 30 Best ‘Hocus Pocus’ Quotes

  • “Oh look, another glorious morning. Makes me sick!” – Winifred Sanderson 
  • “I am beautiful! Boys will love me!” – Sarah Sanderson.
  • “We seem to have a skeptic in our midst. Mr. Dennison, would you care to share your California, laid-back, tie-dyed point of view?” – Miss Olin
  • “Well, in case Jimi Hendrix shows up tonight, here’s my number.” – Max Dennison
  • “Nice costume. What are you supposed to be? A New Kid on the Block?” – Jay Taylor
  • “I’ll have your guts for garters, girl!” – Winifred Sanderson 
  • “I couldn’t wear anything like that because I don’t have any … what do you call ’em, Max? Yabos? Max likes your yabos. He loves ’em!” – Dani Dennison
  • “My lucky rat tail! Just where I left it!” – Sarah Sanderson
  • “Ah! He makes fire in his hand!” – Winifred Sanderson
  • “Stuff it, zit face.” – Dani Dennison
  • “Billy Butcherson was Winifred’s lover, but she caught him sporting with her sister, Sarah. So she poisoned him and sewed his mouth shut with a dull needle so he couldn’t tell his secrets, even in death. Winifred always was the jealous type.” – Thackery Binx.
  • “We’re talking about three ancient hags versus the 20th century. How bad can it be?” – Max Dennison
  • “It’s a full moon tonight. That’s why all the weirdos are out.” – Dani Dennison. 
  • “Let’s see. Amnesia, bunions, chilblains, cholera. Tsk tsk. I think we can do better than that.” – Winifred Sanderson.
  • “You want to smash some pumpkins?” – Jay Taylor
  • “Follow those children, you maggot museum!” – Winifred Sanderson
  • “He has a little woman?” – Winifred Sanderson
  • “Shove it, Satan.” – The Master’s Wife
  • “Why was I cursed with such idiot sisters?” – Winifred Sanderson
  • “Now, tart face, take your Clark Bars and get out of my house!” – The Master’s Wife
  • “Sisters, look. ‘Tis the chocolate-covered finger of a man named Clark.” – Mary Sanderson
  • “Tis a black river.” – Mary Sanderson 
  • “They’re very health-conscious in Los Angeles.” – Ernie “Ice”
  • “Dance, dance until you die!” – Winifred Sanderson
  • “Farewell, mortal busboy!” – Sarah Sanderson
  • “You’re going to turn me into one of those fat, useless, contented house cats.” – Thackery Binx.
  • “I love you, jerkface.” – Dani Dennison. 
  • “You know, I always wanted a child, and now I think I’ll have one … on toast!” – Winifred Sanderson.
  • “I’m sorry, Emily. I had to wait 300 years for a virgin to light a candle.” – Thackery Binx.
  • “It’s all just a bunch of hocus pocus.” – Max Dennison.
  • “Amok, amok, amok, amok, amok!”Sarah Sanderson
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