6 Of Bette Midler’s Best On-Screen Shit Fits
posted on Oct. 3, 2014, at 10:05 p.m.
With Halloween only a few weeks away, many of us will be celebrating with a screening of our old favorite, Hocus Pocus. In preparation, let us now bear witness to the ranting and raving magic of Bette Midler’s best on-screen shit fits.
6. Down and Out in Beverly Hills: Bette vs. Richard Dreyfuss
If there’s one thing this list proves, Midler excels at portraying frantic rich bitches, in this case, one whose husband allows a “derelict” to move in to their mansion. “He could steal everything–and then murder us in our beds!” she brays in a full-length fur coat. “Is that what you want, another Manson murder?!”
5. First Wives Club: Bette vs. Goldie Hawn
Is there really any question as to who will come out on top in this grudge match? The verbal spars “(And thanks to Cher’s pioneering efforts, you still haven’t hit puberty!)” turn physical as Bette hurls Goldie’s Golden Globe across the room, then caps it off by referring to her as “some Beverly Hills science project.” Now that’s dry-ice cold!
4. Beaches: Bette vs. Barbara Hershey
Slow build to seething rage and a good, old-fashioned storm-out in this classic 80s department store scene. “At least I belong to myself, which is more than I can say for you. I’m doing what I set out to do, remember? I’m living the life you didn’t have the courage for! So don’t give me jealous. You’re so jealous you can hardly breathe!” Sadly, later in the film, we witness Barb take her final, extremely jealous breath.
3. Big Business: Bette vs. Bette
There’s that saying about being your own worst enemy. Well, when power executive Bette stumbles upon her long-lost country bumpkin twin for the first time, the toilet plunger gets to swingin’!
2. Ruthless People: Bette vs. Judge Reinhold
Trading bathroom tools for kitchen implements, Barbara Stone, perhaps Bette’s most berserk character, utilizes a coffee mug and electric hand mixer to fend off her captor. In the end, only chloroform can bring Bettezilla to her knees.
1. Outrageous Fortune: Bette vs. Shelley Long
Rumors (and confirmation) of behind-the-scenes drama between these two leading ladies amped up this solid 90-second death-room blowout. Leave it to Le Midler to give a morgue so much life.