BootLeg Betty

Ten women who could spice up ‘The View’

Mister D: Star Jones left The View this past week and instead of the regular “cackling” fest, it became a “hen-pecking” fest. This just finally proves that the show should be filmed in a barnyard with an audience of farm animals. But could any of the women below elevate the status of the show? I see one, but it ain’t happening.

Donna Summer Joy Behar Bette Midler 2003

USA TODAY
Ten women who could spice up ‘The View’
by Whitney Whitney Matheson

Star’s gone — let’s move on.

That’s how I feel about this week’s View catastrophe, in which Star Jones Reynolds abruptly departed the show, leaving Barbara Walters, Joy Behar and that shoe designer from Survivor with two empty seats at their table.

It’s only been three days, but I’m already sick of hearing both sides of the story. The most exciting thing about Star’s vacant spot, I think, is that it gives the show a chance to become relevant again. How great would it be if The View recruited a woman viewers could identify with? If it’s not asking too much, perhaps she could be funny and intelligent to boot.

Since I’m sure ABC is scrambling to fill the seat, here are some quick ideas. Feel free to add your own suggestions to the comments section.

1. Bette Midler. Hey, it’s summer. Why not turn the show into a bawdy, say-anything romp? I’d love to see what trouble Bette ‘n’ Joy could get into together.

2. Mary-Louise Parker. She’s hilarious, spontaneous and could simultaneously promote the new season of Weeds.

3. Sandra Oh. Grey’s Anatomy fans are missing the actress, and I’d love to see her unscripted.

4. Paula Deen. I’m not sure what to make of the Rachael Ray hysteria. To me, Deen is the more appealing foodie, and I wouldn’t mind spending more time soaking in her sweet Southern accent.

5. Joan Cusack. I know I’m on a Cusack high this week, but this one seems like a perfect fit. Joan is a successful mother, a Midwesterner and has a great sense of humor.

6. Pam Grier. The L Word star and former Foxy Brown would be a refreshing addition to the cast. If she got the gig, I know Quentin Tarantino would start watching …

7. Amy Sedaris. Since she’s already in New York and is promoting Strangers with Candy, I believe there’s a good chance she’d say yes.

8. Jane Pratt. Those of us who grew up with Sassy and Jane magazines would tune in to watch the former editor, if only to relive the fond memories.

9. Lisa Kudrow. I suppose she’s busy, but still — out of all the Friends, she’s the one I’d want to hang out with.

10. Parker Posey. After all, I’d much rather see her on a morning show than in a Pepsi commercial.

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