Bette Midler Revealed Secrets Of Her Successful, 34-Year-Long Marriage To Martin Von Haselberg

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Bette Midler Revealed Secrets Of Her Successful, 34-Year-Long Marriage To Martin Von Haselberg
November 3, 2018

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“Behind every great man there’s a great woman” is a familiar expression, but what about great men behind great women? This may sound silly, but it seems to be the case for Bette Midler, whose marriage to Martin von Haselberg didn’t kill her career – it helped her talent thrive.

A guide to a successful marriage, Bette-Midler style

In 1984, Bette Midler was an accomplished singer and actress when she met her almost-colleague, Martin von Haselberg, who was probably less well-known than her. The two immediately felt that they belonged together and tied the knot about six weeks after their first meeting. Their daughter, actress Sophie von Haselberg, arrived on November 14, 1986.

This year, the couple celebrates their 34th wedding anniversary. Such rock-solid marriages are a rarity in Hollywood! What is the secret of their long-lasting union?

In an interview with People, Midler said:

I think the secret is giving each other a lot of lead and a lot of room and not being in each other’s faces all the time.

Another element in the formula of a successful marriage is, of course, listening. Midler said:

Listening is very hard. And compromise. Compromise is the hardest of all.

It seems the couple knows a lot about compromise. Von Haselberg quit his job as commodities broker to support his wife’s career and take care of their daughter. Midler told People:

My husband is probably the greatest father who ever lived. He’s fantastic. He picked up the slack when I was on the road. He taught her a foreign language. He taught her to cook.

Marriage is about respect and taking into account your loved one’s needs and wants, and Midler knows it well. In the interview with People, she said something all married couples could benefit from:

Don’t diminish each other. Don’t make each other less. Don’t try to make each other wrong all the time. Don’t blame. Stop assigning blame. The blaming, I think, is the worst part. It’s so [easy to do], because you don’t want to carry the burden yourself. You want to push it onto someone else.

But honestly, you have to learn not to do that.

What’s Bette Midler’s secret to longevity?

Well, we already know part of Bette Midler’s secret to longevity – having a devoted husband and a loving daughter by your side. But it’s also something else. She told The Telegraph:

I think it’s perseverance. Continuing to put one foot in front of the other. And taking advantage of the opportunities. I took advantage of some opportunities that I shouldn’t have, but in the long [term], I had more peaks than I had valleys, and I never let anything distress me so much that I couldn’t get up off the floor.

It sounds like The Divine Miss M has life figured out!