Daily Life
14 times Bette Midler completely owned Twitter
March 9, 2016
Bette Midler has taken on the likes of Kimmy K, Justin Bieber, the Academy and basically every campaigning Republican politician – and she’s winning.
In a series of cheeky, smart tweets, the Beaches star is shading the celebs to the delight of the internet.
Here are fourteen of the best of Middler’s cutting tweets.
BETTE ON KIM KARDASHIAN WEST
“Kim Kardashian tweeted a nude selfie today. If Kim wants us to see a part of her we’ve never seen, she’s gonna have to swallow the camera.”
BETTE ON THE ACADMEY AWARDS
“Happy Leap Year! Not everyone won an Oscar last night, but plenty of folks in Hollywood are waking up next to someone hard &cold, I’m sure.”
“The Oscars are today! You know, the awards show where Leonardo DiCaprio is “overdue” but black people can `wait till next year.'”
BETTE ON KRIS JENNER
“Kris Jenner booed at a concert while intro’ing Culture Club; that’s the last time anyone says Kris Jenner & Culture in the same sentence.”
BETTE ON DONALD TRUMP
“Yes, Trump called Ted Cruz a “p****.” But in GOP circles, a “p****” is just something a woman has no right to make her own decisions about.”
“Trump called Ted Cruz a “p****”? Well, Trump’s a d*** so maybe they should get together and f*** off!”
“In a world where Donald Trump is a frontrunner for President, I fully expect to hear soon that the new Supreme Court nominee is Judge Judy.”
“Rubio attacks Trump for his incoherent, poorly-spelled tweets. What a showdown: the grammar Fascist versus the ACTUAL…uh….”
“Ben & Jerry’s made a small batch of Bernie Sanders ice cream. How about a Trump flavor? Just leave some orange sherbet out until it sours.”
BETTE ON KANYE WEST
“Kanye called Taylor Swift a b**** but said it’s a term of endearment. Well then, let me be the first to say, congrats on your album, b****!”
BETTE ON TED CRUZ
“Ted Cruz pledged to deny gluten-free meals to the troops. I thought he’d understand celiac disease. He always looks like he has gas.”
“Are people ignoring the fact that Ted Cruz isn’t a natural-born American because it’s impossible to believe such a jackass came from Canada?”
BETTE ON BEYONCE
“Everyone’s going nuts because @Beyonce dropped a new video. So? I drop stuff all the time. These days, it’s picking up stuff that’s hard!”
BETTE ON JUSTIN BIEBER
“Justin Biebers fans upset because Concert tickets w/VIP meet and greet cost $2000. Well, remember, we all got to see his penis for free!”
