Hey everybody!!! It’s me Moronica, the bootlicking turkey. I just flew into to Nashville to give Mister D the news that I’m flying the coup….It’s been a real pleasure serving ya’ll instead of ya’ll serving me, but I’ve got me a new gig that I just can’t turn down and I hope you’ll understand! I am joining the Washington press corps!!!!! I know….eat me!!! Seems I passed muster with security…they couldn’t tell I was a turkey, so I”M IN….I’ll be within gobblin’ distance of President Bush and I am the perfect voice for his administration….pure, unadulterated gibberish or is it giblets. Oh who knows, I’m not a real journalist anyhoots. I’ll be sitting right next to that Jeff Gannon guy….maybe I’ll get some action after the “talking points.”
Anyway, this should be a real breeze after trailing Bette for years…now SHE has real security!!! I had to work really hard to mix in….headdresses, hanging out in freak shows with Delores, being a table prop….that was a rough job but I loved being around her….but now I need something where I just don’t have to think so much…you know, just do what I’m told!
Please take care of Mister D…..he’ll be quite lonely without me, but I’m sure he’ll find inspiration somewhere to fill the void left by this turkey!
And now for my final report:
Okay….I was just in NewfieLand and Toronto, wherever that little webmaster Darrell lives and I noticed that he has put up some fabu interviews from years gone by given by our wonderful Divine Miss M. Here are some of the new updates you can find on Bette On The Boards:
PAGE UPDATES
March 13, 2005Magazine Archive
RAM – October 20, 1978
American Film – September 1978
(photos added)Cue – November 23, 1979
(photos added)
And for something completely different…I was scratching around the Land Down Under when I ran across this punk group, Yidcore!!!! Yes a jewish punk band whose biggest hit to date are brutalizing songs made famous by Bette and Babs! Their last CD, Attack of the B-Killers, is nominated for a comedy award…the Bee Killers are, yes, Babs and Bette.
I admit they ruffled my feathers, but I couldn’t help but laugh. Mister D had a chuckle, too. But it’s not for Bette fans who have a humour deficit….yes they poke some holes into our divas, especially in their new animated video version of “Wind Beneath My Wings” in which Bette morphs into famous monsters in order to squash Barbara Streisand. If you are not faint of heart…check out the video: Click Here (scroll down and click “play” next to “Wings”….)
Oh boo and hiss your own selves!
I must say, it’s been an honor serving all my BLB friends and I will miss you all. Remember to look for me at the White House….if you see a funny looking little turkey (NO, NOT W!) hanging around a bald, gay prostitute, fake journalist , then it’s probably me!
Gobble Gobble Goodbye,
Moronica: The Bootlicking Turkey
PS: Thanks to “the exclusives” for making me the success I am…because of you, I became! 🙂
PSS: Don’t eat turkey!!!, you turkeys
