Marc Shaiman told me he wrote “A Doctor, A Doctor” for his sister Joyce’s wedding. He then sang it to Bette, she loved it, and then part of it got thrown into a scene in “Beaches.” Here are all the lyrics: (Thanks Marc!)
“A DOCTOR, A DOCTOR”
A DOCTOR, A DOCTOR
MY DAUGHTER JOYCE (or OY) IS MARRYING
A DOCTOR, A DOCTOR
SO IF YOUR KIDS NEED SHOTS,
JUST CALL UP MY DAUGHTER
AND ASK FOR HER HUSBAND THE DOCTOR!
GEVALT, I MAY PLOTZ!
ACTUALLY RIGHT NOW, HE’S AN INTERN
BUT SOON, HE’LL BE A UROLOGIST
SO YOU SHOULD ALL MAKE APPOINTMENT
IF IT BURNS WHEN YOU PISH
EVERY CHECK-UP BUYS A SET-UP
AND A SERVING DISH!
A DOCTOR, A DOCTOR,
OH WILLY (or REALLY), I’M KVELLING
IT’S A JEWISH MOTHER’S DAY
BECAUSE NOW I CAN COMPLAIN
ABOUT EVERY ACHE AND PAIN
AND NEVER HAVE TO PAY!
OY VEY!
