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Top 10 anti-Valentine’s Day flicks
13/02/2012
Valentine’s Day is upon us again, ready to wreak havoc on singletons’ hearts.
If you’re going solo this year, take comfort in the knowledge that the grass is always greener – and the remote is always yours.
And if you’re still feeling glum, head down to the video store for a movie that reminds you you’re better off alone.
1. THE SHAWSHANK REDEMPTION, 1994
This uplifiting movie will remind you of the powerful bond of friendship – something often neglected by those in the full bloom of love. It also comes with a valuable warning: When you get married, you risk being cuckolded by a golf pro and going to prison for a crime you didn’t commit.
2. AMERICAN BEAUTY, 1999
There’s a reason Sam Mendes’ movie debut won three Oscars. Kevin Spacey nails it as the patriarch of an uber-dysfunctional American family, who copes with his midlife crisis by lusting after his daughter’s teenage friend. This look behind the white picket fence will make you glad you opted out.
3. WHO’S AFRAID OF VIRGINIA WOOLF?, 1966
We’ve all known that couple – the ones who make a scene at every party by hurling drunken insults at each other. Real-life lovers Elizabeth Taylor and Richard Burton get it spot-on in this timeless classic. From the backhanded comments and endless attempts to humiliate each other to Taylor’s relentless emasculation, it will leave you exhausted and vowing to stay single for life.
4. SWINGERS, 1996
Vince Vaughn and Jon Favreau are unnattached, unemployed actors cavorting around LA in this ultimate single-guy film. Anyone who’s called someone for a date can relate to the excruciating answering machine scene.
5. SCREAM, 1996
A slasher movie might seem obvious, but there’s a reason horror flicks reign supreme as the antidote to mushy Valentine’s Day movies. Nothing will make you more grateful to be single than watching Neve Campbell’s boyfriend turn into a murdering psycho.
6. BRIDESMAIDS, 2011
This comedy provides plenty of belly-aching laughter for both sexes, with a brilliant ensemble cast that proves women can be as disgusting, raunchy and funny as men. While the focus of the movie is a wedding, the real message is that the most important relationship is friendship.
7. KILL BILL VOL. 1, 2003
The main character is known as “The Bride”, but that’s where the romance ends in Quentin Tarantino‘s revenge fantasy film. Uma Thurman wakens from a four-year coma after being left for dead on her wedding day and resolves to hunt down her five attackers one by one. One for the recently heartbroken.
8. AMERICAN PSYCHO, 2000
Are you a single lady looking for a hot date? Well, Patrick Bateman is a catch. He’s buff, wealthy and charming. Just one downside … he’s likely to torture and kill you. Maybe you’re better off single.
9. FIRST WIVES CLUB, 1996
Goldie Hawn, Diane Keaton and Bette Midler star as divorcees who “don’t get mad – get everything”. Whether you’re attached, divorced or single this is bound to amuse and inspire. The ladies’ impassioned rendition of You Don’t Own Me will have you raising an empowered fist and singing along from your couch.
10. DANGEROUS LIAISONS, 1988
This epic and oh-so-complicated tale of seduction and revenge features an all-star cast of John Malkovich, Glenn Close, Michelle Pfeiffer, Uma Thurman and Keanu Reeves.
