BetteBack February 13, 2000: The Top Five Love Songs And More



Bette Midler & John Heard in Beaches

When I was growing up, a song came out by Percy Sledge called “When A Man Loves A Woman.” It was more than music to slow-dance to; it was instructional.

When a man loves a woman, he’ll . . .

A.) Borrow money from her to buy a Valentine’s Day gift.

B.) Use her car and return it with an empty tank.

C.) Spend his very last dime trying to hold on to what he needs.

Sledge fans know the answer is C, which is why they are way ahead in the love game.

The song was released in 1966. For today’s kids, that’s beyond oldies and back into ancient times. Sledge’s style of romantic expression also seems to be a thing of the past.

Notice, for example, how the rapper called Juvenile, in his hit song titled “Back That Azz Up,” tries to express the same sentiment that Sledge does about spending your last dime on a woman.

Girl, you working with some ass yeah, you bad yeah
Make a ni**a spend his cash yeah, his last yeah

It’s not quite the same thing.

Turn on almost any pop music radio station these days and the messages you hear about interpersonal relationships border on the psychotic. Tune in on the latest rap music videos and you not only hear profanity and racial slurs, you see all of the misogyny and pugilistic eroticism that go with it.

Last week, Gregory Godek, founder of the Romance Research Institute in California and author of “1001 Ways To Be Romantic,” released his list of the 100 best love songs of the 20th century. Juvenile did not make it.

Godek used a computer to analyze melodies, lyrics, rendition and emotional content in 2,500 songs. The 100 best, he says–as opposed to the most popular–were songs considered the most melodic, truthful, emotionally evocative and beautifully sung.

Every person has his or her own ideas about what those things mean. I just think that you hear a lot less of any of those qualities in songs these days.

Here are Godek’s top five:

1. “You Are So Beautiful,” by Joe Cocker (1975).

2. “As Time Goes By,” by Dooley Wilson, from the film “Casablanca” (1942).

3. “Something,” by the Beatles (1969).

4. “The Rose,” by Bette Midler (1980).

5. “Unforgettable,” by Nat King Cole (1953).

Now, I have some problems with the list. Sledge’s “When A Man Loves A Woman” doesn’t show up until No. 20. And Stevie Wonder‘s 1973 hit “You Are the Sunshine of My Life” is way down at No. 72.

You are the sunshine of my life
That’s why I’ll always be around,
You are the apple of my eye,
Forever you’ll stay in my heart.

So it’s corny. But if the airwaves are going to be saturated with words, let it be like those. And not, say, Sisqo’s “The Thong Song“:

Ooh that dress so scandalous
And you know another ni**a couldn’t handle it
Baby move your butt butt
All night long

You know you want to show me
That thong.

Things sure have changed since the 1960s. Remember Jackie Wilson’s 1967 hit “Higher and Higher”?

Your love, liftin’ me higher
Than I’ve ever been lifted before.
So keep it up, quench my desire,
And I’ll be at your side forevermore.

You don’t hear songs like that anymore. Even when Sledge hits a rough spot in “When A Man Loves A Woman,” you never forget that it’s still a love song:

When a man loves a woman
Down deep in his soul,
She can bring him such misery.
If she plays him for a fool,
He’s the last to know.

Lovin’ eyes can’t ever see.

In her hit song “Love Is Blind,” the singer Eve apparently feels the same way about loving eyes. But she is not subtle at all.

Hey yo, I don’t even know you and I hate you
See all I know is that my girlfriend used to date you
How would you feel if she held you down and raped you
Tried and tried but she never could escape you
She was in love and I asked her how? I mean why?
What kind of love from a ni**a would black your eye?

Sorry, but it all just makes me yearn for the good ol’ days.

When a man loves a woman, he’ll . . .

A.) Expect her to pick up the dinner tab tomorrow night.

B.) Just roll over and go to sleep afterward.

C.) Trade the world for the good thing he’s found; turn his back on his best friend if he puts her down.

Sledge fans know the answer. Everybody else will just have to learn the hard way.

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