The on-screen moments that make grown men cry

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The on-screen moments that make grown men cry
FEBRUARY 6, 20168:09PM

The film was Best Picture-favourite Spotlight, and the tear-inducing moment came during the final credits, when we’re confronted a dizzying list of cities affected by a version of the Catholic Church-perpetuated child abuse scandal we’ve just seen unfold in Boston. Some of these cities were Australian.

It’s a moment that strips the events of their impact and reminds us that this kind of sanctioned evil takes place on a global scale.

And it’s just ”¦ well ”¦ pretty bloody sad.

It got me wondering, which other films and television shows have manipulated my tear ducts?

WARNING: Spoilers ahead.

THE SOPRANOS – TONY SOPRANO SAVES HIS SON FROM SUICIDE

Poor Tony Soprano. Poor, poor snitch strangling, kin-whacking, Mortadello-scoffing family man. As if existential-crisis-borne depression wasn’t enough, the boss of New Jersey must face the fact he might have passed down the black dog.

After A.J’s fiancee calls off their engagement, Anthony Jr. sees nothing but storm-clouds, and tries to clear them by jumping into the backyard pool with a plastic bag over his head, using a rock as an anchor.

What about it made this man cry?

James Gandolfini displayed about seven conflicting emotions while fishing his son from a watery death. Anger quickly gives way to compassion, then to despair, then to love.

What a wonderful moment between mass murderer and his son.

DANCER IN THE DARK – BJORK SINGS A PRE-EXECUTION DITTY

Back at the turn of the century, I picked up my then-girlfriend from a screening of the Lars Von Masochist film – Dancer in the Dark.

We drove off, but didn’t make it very far. We couldn’t help but park.

Get your mind out of the back seat. The reason we stopped is because she couldn’t contain her tears. She spluttered and heaved like she’d just lost a loved one. I couldn’t fathom how a film could have that effect on someone.

Then I saw it. I saw Bjork facing suicide for a crime she was bullied into committing. I saw a character who is losing her sight, sing the most heart-wrenching, manipulative vocal performance, and fail to finish it thanks to a sudden snap of the neck.

What about it made this man cry?

The scene is an assault on human emotions. I honestly cannot fathom any non-psychopath remaining dry-eyed at the final credits.

SIX FEET UNDER – EVERYONE DIES

After American Beauty but before True Blood, Alan Ball created the classic HBO drama series Six Feet Under. It was a show that blended the bleak and the life affirming into a ponderous, deep-black soap opera.

After six seasons of heaviness, viewers should never have expected an ending haloed by rainbows or tied in a pretty ribbon.

Every moment from the point in third-to-last episode where everyman Nate Fisher is pommeled by a brain tumour, to the final five minutes of the finale where we flashforward to every single character’s death, stabs at the centre of a viewer’s chest.

What about it made this man cry?

A montage of obituaries set to Sia’s saddest song. The inevitability of death, and a pop ballad. Kill me.

THE TRUMAN SHOW – TRUMAN MEETS HIS FATHER

This Peter Weir-helmed scene shouldn’t elicit the effect it does, as we have a reality TV mogul in a beret controlling the drama from a synthetic eye in the sky. Ed Harris’ megalomaniacal director even cues emotional music at the point Jim Carrey’s Truman hugs his estranged father.

Yet, Truman still thinks it’s a genuine reunion, and he’s the one we care about. It helps that the moment is so perfectly complimented by Phillip Glass’ transcendent score.

What about it made this man cry?

Peter Weir and his writer, Andrew Niccol. Straight up mastery of emotional manipulation.

THE INSIDER – RUSSELL CROWE’S ESTRANGED KIDS FINALLY SEE THEIR FATHER’S INTERVIEW

Rusty Crowe is abandoned by his wife and kids due to his decision to whistleblow on big tobacco’s big con, in an interview with 60 Minutes.

After CBS pulls the interview, it looks as if poor Russ’s life will only worsen. But thanks to Al Pacino’s jaded TV news producer, the fake Crowe family finally gets to see why he’s put them through all this quality drama.

What about it made this man cry?

He regains his family’s respect. Operatic music plays.

I LOVE YOU MAN – JASON SEGAL INTERRUPTS PAUL RUDD’S WEDDING

Rudd and Segal’s bond in this inoffensive bromantic comedy made many men (or maybe just this one) wonder whether they’d ever really had a best friend.

In a reversal of the rom-com trope of ”˜Man abruptly interrupting wedding and steals away bride’, Segal arrives to fulfil his role of best man just before it’s too late. Of course, Rudd’s fiancee, played by Rashida Jones, is completely willing to let her special day’s focus shift to two men who love the band Rush.

What about it made this man cry?

When the platonic couple trade various incarnations of “I love you, man”, all I want to do is go out and give a series of sturdy handshakes.

TITANIC – LEONARDO DICAPRIO’S DEATH

Leo’s Jack Dawson, hanging off a slab of Titanic wood, then drifting towards the unforgiving ocean’s floor, his cherubic face disappearing into darkness.

What about it made this man cry?

Nothing. It was fine.

I don’t want to talk about it.

BEACHES – BARBARA HERSHEY DIES OF CANCER

Difficult to remain objective here, as Bette Midler’s dying best friend bared a striking resemblance to my mother.

I don’t think it’s just me, though, as might I remind you that this sequence comes from the same film that gave us Wind Beneath My Wings.

What about it made this man cry?

The whole mum thing, and maybe – but probably not – Midler’s beautifully wounded singing voice.

THE SHAWSHANK REDEMPTION – TIM ROBBINS SPOTS MORGAN FREEMAN ON THE BEACH

Ah, prison. That place where you start book clubs, perform tax audits, and make lifelong friendships with wise black men.

I’m not huge on beaches (that’s a lower-case ”˜b’), nor boating, but when Morgan Freeman’s Red arrives on Andy DuFreysne’s private coastline, all I want to do is grab a manual sander and take to canoe’s belly.

What about it made this man cry?

Their proud, intergenerational bromance.

ZOOLANDER – MONTAGE OF PROUD PEOPLE

Zoolander’s father announces “that’s my son” to his mining mates.

What about it made this man cry?

I’ll be sure to ask my therapist.