And I am all alone.
There is no one here beside me.
And my problems have all gone.
There is no one to deride me.
Ah, But you got to have friends!
The feeling’s oh so strong.
You got to have friends,
Mmm, To make that day last long.
I had some firends but they’re gone, yeah.
Somethin’ came and took them away.
And from the dusk ’til the dawn
Here is where I’ll stay.
I got to stay, Woo!
[Harlettes:]
She called up the doctor to see what’s the matter.
He said, “Come on over.”
[Bette:]
I said, “Do I have to?”
My knees started aching, my wrists started shakin’ when the doctor said to me,
Whoa, he said Oh my my, oh my my, can you boogie?
Can you slide? Oh my my, oh my my, you can boogie if you try.
Oh my my, oh my my, you know it’s guaranteed to keep you alive.
Whoa, no no no no no! Now don’t make me go!
[Harlettes:]
The head nurse, she blew in just like a tornado.
When they started dancin’
[Bette:]
I jumped off the table.
I felt myself reeling, and as I was healing, this is what he said to me,
Ow! Oh my my, oh my my, can you boogie?
Can you slide? Oh my my, oh my my, you can boogie if you try.
Oh my my, oh my my, you know it’s guaranteed to keep you alive.
[Harlettes:]
Can you boogie?
[Bette:]
Whoa, my my my my mu mu my mu mu my mu mu my my my my
Can I boogie?
Can I boogie?
Can I boogie?
Can I boogie woogie?
[Harlettes:]
Can you boogie?
[Bette:]
Yes I can, yes I can, yes I can.
[Harlettes:]
Can you boogie?
[Bette:]
Yes I can, yes I can, yes I can.
[Harlettes:]
Can you boogie?
[Bette:]
Yes I can, yes I can, yes I can.
“Can I boogie? Can I boogie? What kind of asshole question is that? . . .”
Hello, Cleveland!
Did ya’ miss me?
Good! How many of you thought we were gonna do the entire show in the bed? How many of you were hoping we would do the entire show in the bed? I don’t do shows in bed no more, I’m an artiste. Oh, now this hospital motif was suggested to me, By my recent stay in a very plush, Beverly Hills Medical Center. Now many of you, may have heard, that I was striken with apendicitis. But I am here to tell you the truth, Cleveland. And that is, that in a spasm of sisterly generosity, I donated my tits to Cher! Oooh! And she was so glad to get ’em, I can’t even begin to tell you! Oh Honey, we spared no expense for you this time! We did it all! We washed, We showered, We Shaved, We FDS’d ourselves into a stuper! And why, why did we do all this? I’ll tell you why we did all this! On account of we heard, On account of we heard there was a depression goin’ on out here, And we all wanted to cheer you up, But y’all, y’all don’t look too depressed, except for you honey, You look like shi-i-it!