I’m Still Here Dammit! – Mister D
Hi Betteheads!
My name is Don or Mister D (for the old-timers). I’ve been running this site, Bootleg Betty, almost daily since October 9, 2002, and I feel I still have so much to do. I’d like to thank Nicola for taking the reigns of the Facebook Page. It’s good to know that there’s always something going on.
Anyway, I just wanted to apologize for going AWOL for awhile. I think I’ve only done that once before. No, I/m not going to slow it down. No, I’m not ready to retire, although it may be I might want to start looking for help to finish this project before I die. It’s just gotten too big for one person to undertake. Personally, I don’t think it will ever be finished. There’s so many things missing and you can always find more information than you thought, plus new ideas pop in your head constantly. Well, maybe not for you LOL, but it does for me.
The reason I’ve disappeared for some days, is simply because I’ve been battling some sickness since about April, and I’ve just had a string of Bad Luck than ever before. The good thing is I didn’t get depressed but maintained a positive outlook for the most part. You’d at least think I’d be bitchy!
I’m sure most of you don’t care about this shit (just get back to Bette), but I feel an obligation as to why I just dropped out. Ya’ll have been great to me over the almost 2 decades I/ve been up, so I feel it’s my duty to inform.
In April of this year, I lost my father and my dearest pet LeeLoo disappeared right out of the blue. She wasn’t even an outdoor cat, but she liked to go out with her brother every morning at 6:00 PM. He would go out wandering in the forest but she always stayed behind on the top step of the deck outside right by the door. I usually leave the door cracked so she can just come back in. She usually just comes and sits next to my computer while I work. But she didn’t come back. I looked and for some reason I had closed the door. I expected her to be right there, but she wasn’t. I looked for her everywhere for a week, and nothing. Her brother, which I had never had siblings, was just pathetic, like he lost one of his legs or something. I dont want to relive it, but he still acts funny and he’s adopted some of her mannerisms around me. Very interesting.
In all that, I never made it to my father’s funeral and I felt guilt, We had made out peace a few years ago. We weren’t close, so my mom said there really wasn’t any point to coming home. But I heard it was more like a celebration than a morbid affair. But still, I think it weighed on me heavily.
But to zip through this (if you want to ask questions, just comment, or write me. I was getting 14 migraines a week, I was extremely fatigued, vaguely numb on one side of my body, dizzy a lot, nauseous a lot, my stomach ached often, had horrible acid reflux, and sometimes when I walked, I couldn’t walk a straight line (don’t drink or do illegal drugs). Due to this, one day I fell backward out the shower, head first, busted my head, 6 stitches. Soon afterward I had so much pain in my torso, I had to call 911, ended up having my gallbladder taken out.
We all thought that would take care of the dizziness, the nausea, stomach ache, but fuck the migraines, nothing on them yet. Well the gall bladder op didn’t do much. Went to specialists, they couldn’t find anything, not even for why my right side was slightly numb.
I basically worked from the couch, but later had it moved away to a desk to try and encourage me to get up. I just worked on BLB less.
To make a long story shorter, I finally started doing research on myself. What happened ot changed around April? And it finally dawned on me. Doctors had doubled the dosage on 2 medicines that I took that didn’t present any side effects. Nobody thought to look at them again when they were doubled. I looked at their major side effects and I had every major one. I went back to my GP and he’s been weaning me off of them. I also made some major changes to my diet, and I’m getting stronger, am able to drive again, and do my own shopping.
The migraines are another story, but there’s some new things out now that look hopefull and I’m supposed to start them in a couple of days.
I’m sad to say that Barry and I have split after 35 years, too. iT’s been in the process for a good 5 years. I didn’t handle it well at all, We;ve been together since we were kids, and I happen to be the most romantic and emotional one. He actually moved out 5 years ago, but he would spend 3 nights with me until I could adjust, Eventually, it was I that said you don’t have to stay anymore. That has been the most devastating thing in my life, I dont want to go near the gay scene anymore. I’ve kind of reverted back to the nerdish things I was into as a child. I love to read, cuddle with my cats, I have a few friends, and that’s all I need. Barry and I are best friends. I know I will always be Number One in his book and vice versa. We talk and text everyday, and he still comes by to check on me twice a week.
I haven’t decided to give up on guys, I feel to young, but I can;t imagine it being anything more than a NSA relationship or FWB LOL Yes, old people still get horny!
Thank you, if you got this far, I will probably start posting again tomorrow, There may be some old things coming through but thats for me to have a record of….
Much love, Don aka Mister D
Sounds like ur heading in the right direction mentally. Good luck in all you do of course I love Bette
Trying to…thank you!
Love you Mr.D
Thank you!
Mister D, I wish you all the best and I hope you find comfort and happiness in the days and weeks to come. Always know that you have provided joy to so many people by this site and the work that you do provides a community that allows us to connect with people who get it. Whenever I am sad or down this site always brings a smile to my face and if good wishes could help in anyway you have them from me and this community by the 1,000s.
Jill, thank you so much. I didn’t know how to make this post not sound so dire. My outlook has been very positive throughout, and I don’t know how that came to be. Usually, I would be a basket case, but for some reason that didn’t happen. But I am glad there’s light at the end of the tunnel. Thanks again for the kind words
So sorry you had such a rough time!! Don’t know if you are spiritual but prayers to you! Thanks for coming back. I live with a brain tumor so I do understand headaches. Have an occasional migraine so I know that is rough!!
Thank you so much! I will keep you in my prayers, too. Love, Don
Love you Don! Xxx
Love you too, Nicola!
Hang in there, Don! Every road leads back to you and even with all the difficulties you’ve experienced this year, the light at the end of the tunnel seems to be beckoning. Love the site and your dedication and wish you better health and much happiness ahead.
I love you Richard! You always pop up when I need a lift! Thank you! Don xo
Dear Don,
I can totally relate, I lost my mother a year ago and nine months later my own cat Basil, perished and I ended up with Depression and Anxiety and I’ve not yet fully recovered, but this is nothing compared to what you’ve had: a REAL rough time of it lately, and I’m so sorry to hear the troubles you’ve been facing – All I know is this: Look after yourself, Number 1 is most important and I have every faith you’ll get there (and also appreciate it’s NOT easy) – for me humor is what keeps me going, to each his own, but from across the pond in Australia I can vouch there are MANY of us with you in their thoughts (as most of my friends love BLB and I’ve always said you’re the hardest working man on the internet) – Deepest sympathies for your losses, big hugs, and Much Love to you xx
Awww! Thank you Miss Victoria. You do know a lot probably about the way I feel. I’m already trying to do what you’re telling me and I believe in your “humor” remedy. My outlook, as I’ve said has been for the most part positive I don’t know why that is cause I’ve suffered from Depression and Anxiety most of my life, so I’m grateful for wherever my new attitude came from. Thank you for the kind words and good to hear from you. Don xo
Don, Praying that you’ll find comfort and healing soon. Thank you for all the work you’ve put into this site. We ALL love you and our devoted Bette.
Thank you so much. And thank you for complimenting BLB! I’ll be back to work on it soon. Don
Sounds like you’ve been tourgh the worst of it and have survived. Thanks for sharing and explaining, you’re not the only one out there who has problems to deal with every day, and am sure that also helps others. A doctor friend was almost killed by HIS doctor when he was taking 3 times the usual heart medication prescribed by him! You are most definitely NOT alone. You’re tenacity is admirable!!
Hope you feel better every single day.
Thank you Albert! And yes, I have learned from other experience s that doctors don’t necessarily know it all! LOL xo
Thanks for sharing. And thanks for keeping on being you. I wish you nothing but love and clear skies ahead xox
Why Miss Jane! It really is you! Just you coming out of hibernation gives me a thrill. Thank you for the good wishes! Love you! Don xo
Hi Don
Sounds like you have had a really tough time recently.
It does appear that you are at least now heading in the right
direction which is great news!
Thank you for all the great work you do on this site, it is really appreciated.
All the very best for the future.
Your friend
Thank you Nigel. Wow, it’s so good to hear from people I haven’t heard from in awhile. Anyway, I am getting better, and I thank you for the support. Don xo
You have provided so much joy over the years for thousands of us Betteheads. Sorry for your personal tragedies but glad that you have decided to stay standing.
We have communicated many years since I lived in Honolulu and now in Boca.
Hang in there. Welove you. Nancy A.
Bless you for the update! You are like family to me!
Thank you Kris, I love you too. You’ve been with me forever. Believe me, I’m fine. I just have to get a little stronger. Don xo
Don,
Welcome to the start of old age! Ain’t it a bitch? I just turned 67 and I can see the writing on the proverbial wall.
You’re sense of humor will get you through this; never lose it. Your Bette website has been the only bright spot some days when I’m down and blue. You mean a lot to a lot of people. We really do support the work you do.
My husband of 43 years was just diagnosed with the beginning stages of Parkinson’s. It’s become this ‘thing’ that looms over us daily. But our humor and positive spirit keeps us going.
My you find strength and wellness in this very moment.
You are loved!
Martin in L.A.
Oh Martin: Ain’t that the truth. Who said growing old isn’t for sissies…LOL Thank you for the kind words and prayers to your husband. And you’re very correct about humor. Usually, I end up in a psych ward, but this time I kept a positive attitude and laughed a lot. It worked.
Don,
I rarely have difficulty finding the right words, but this is one of those times. You have been through so much over the years, and we are all blessed that you have pulled through it, with the strength and tenacity of a fighter with an optimistic spirit.
It was so good to see you and Barry in Las Vegas (gosh, has it been about ten years ago now??), and I will always wish both of you the very best. It’s so important that you take care of yourself first, and catch up on Bette second.
Your website is amazing in so many ways: as a history lesson, a scrapbook, a photo album, a news update, a review site, and just a fun way to relive the past, enjoy the present, and look forward to the future. Bette is still active, relevant, and so much a part of our lives–all of which is greatly enhanced by your efforts, thoroughness, and devotion to one of our great national treasures.
Your honesty, candor, and transparency makes me feel like you’re one of the family (in more ways than one!), and bestow upon you my greatest respect and admiration. I’ve enjoyed your website (my daily fix!), since about 2004, and hope you continue with it, at whatever pace you’re comfortable, for as long as it gives you inspiration.
You are truly among the finest people I have ever met, and wish you, and your future the very best!
All my support, as you overcome those darn health obstacles!
Love, Ron
You always say the right thing. What are you talking about? You always make me feel special, and I’m one of those people that don’t think that, but it sure is nice to hear, and I love you for it. You always bring such insight when you poat. I wish you and others would start postine here again. I just hate Facebook now. I’m seriously thinking about leaving and just let Nicola do what she wants with it, Frankly, that place depresses the shit out me. So does Twitter. They all just keep you in an agitated state or angry, I mean look at Bette’s Twitter now. I don’t even recognize her cause she’s so angry. It’s okay to be angry, but to keep putting that out into the universe is not good and I don’t mean just her. I was just surprised she got on that bandwagon 24/7.
I’ve never been a fan of Facebook–especially since seeing the “Social Network”, where Zuckerberg literally stole the idea from the Winklevoss Twins, and screwed them out of their social platform. You can’t really connect with anyone on Facebook unless you’re on Facebook, and I’m not so sure it’s going to be around or have the same impact it does now, ten years from now (look at Myspace, which I still prefer, but am not on). And then there’s the Russians……
I agree that Bette has certainly become a more outspoken political voice, and has become more ‘militant’ in her Twitter views. I could analyze the reasons why, by writing a book, but it has kept Bette in the news. Many of her tweets get national attention, and the pointed comedy mixed with political jabs have dramatically increased her Twitter base of followers. Others, such as George Takei and Chelsea Handler have also remained popular and relevant with similarly-themed, and frequently funny, tweets.
Veering into the realm of political messaging, I think much of Bette’s outrage is due to the fact that Trump has taken a jab or two at Bette over the years, at her expense, as he has Rosie (not that he necessarily started it), and that we are increasingly and more frustratingly aware that Trump’s Presidential Victory was based on a fraud. Trump has pretty much proven to be a liar, a thief, and a hypocrite (this is where the ‘book’ comes in), which can make an individual who voted for the other party feel very violated. Like her or not, Hillary did win the popular vote by almost 3 million more votes, and I think Bette has channeled that fact, along with Hillary’s presidential loss, into a platform where she can speak her mind, be humorous, and poke from the sidelines, while staying true to her ideology.
I think the Twitter-verse is going to become even more heated, as the daily revelations of Trump’s antics, possibly illegal and certainly immoral, continue to rise to the surface. As Bette’s namesake, Miss Davis, once famously said: “Fasten your seatbelts. It’s going to be a bumpy ride”.